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The Modniks, No. 1

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 00:00:07 -0700

It�s a mod, mod, mod, mod, odd, odd, odd, odd world! Yes, they�re back! Wheels, Lump, �Scot and -- hey, so what is the name of the group�s mysterious, red-haired fourth member? -- collectively known as THE MODNIKS! But since this is yet another great Oddball Comic,these are some of the lamest, most squeaky-clean hipsters ever toappear in a funnybook! (Maybe that�s why their fourth member refuses todivulge his identity!) Plus, see what happens when their �square� friends Cube and Reject receive groovy makeovers, courtesy of the Modniks! [fieldinserts][issuetitle]Title: [subissuetitle]The Modniks[subissuetitle]
[issuetitle][issue]Issue: [subissue]No. 1[subissue]
[issue][publicationdate]Date: [subpublicationdate]August 1967[subpublicationdate]
[publicationdate][publisher]Publisher: [subpublisher]K. K. Publications, Inc./Western Publishing Company, Inc. (Gold Key)[subpublisher]
[publisher][coverartists]Cover Artist(s): [subcoverartists]Unknown[subcoverartists]

[coverartists][introtext]It�s a mod, mod, mod, mod, odd, odd, odd, odd world! Yes, they�re back! Wheels, Lump, �Scot and -- hey, so what is the name of the group�s mysterious, red-haired fourth member? -- collectively known as THE MODNIKS! But since this is yet another great Oddball Comic, these are some of the lamest, most squeaky-clean hipsters ever to appear in a funnybook! (Maybe that�s why their fourth member refuses to divulge his identity!) Plus, see what happens when their �square� friends Cube and Reject receive groovy makeovers, courtesy of the Modniks! [introtext]

[fieldinserts]So, who are the Modniks? What are the Modniks? Apparently, the term was created by the editorial brass at Western Publishing Company, grafting the word �mod� onto the word �beatnik�. Apparently, the editorial brass up at Gold Key really had a thing for �mod�, because they also published the long-running automotive comic series MOD WHEELS as well as an Oddball one-shot -- starring a hippie-robot-astrologist! -- ZODY THE MOD ROB! How mod can you get?

According to Wikipedia, �Mod (AKA Modernism) is a subculture that originated in London in the late 1950s, and reached its mainstream peak in the early to mid 1960s. The mod subculture began with a few cliques of teenage boys with family connections to the garment trade in London in 1958. These early mods were generally middle class, and were obsessed with new fashions and music styles, such as slim-cut Italian suits, modern jazz and rhythm and blues. Their all-night urban social life was fueled, in part, by amphetamines. It is a popular belief that the mods and their rivals, the rockers, both branched off from the Teddy boys, a 1950s subculture in England. The Teddy boys were influenced by American rock n' roll, wore Edwardian-style clothing, and got pompadour or quiff hairstyles. Originally the term mods was used to describe fans of modern jazz music, as opposed to the trads, fans of traditional jazz. After a while, the meaning was expanded beyond the musical tastes, eventually including other fashion and lifestyle elements associated with the original mods, such as continental clothes, scooters and to a lesser degree a taste for pop art, French Nouvelle Vague films and existentialist philosophy. Mods would gather at all-night clubs such as the Twisted Wheel Club to show off their clothes and dance moves. They would typically use scooters as their mode of transportation, typically either Lambretta or Vespa. One reason for this is that public transit stopped relatively early, and scooters were cheaper than cars. After a law was passed requiring at least one mirror be attached to every motorbike, many mods added 4, 10, or even 32 mirrors to their scooters as a mockery of the new law. This can be seen in the cover for The Who's album, QUADROPHENIA, which depicts the main character, Jimmy, on his scooter looking into his four rear-view mirrors. As the lifestyle developed and was adopted by English teenagers of all economic strata, mods expanded their musical tastes beyond jazz and R&B � to also embrace soul (particularly Motown), Jamaican ska and bluebeat. They also developed a distinct brand of British beat music and R&B, exemplified by bands such as the Small Faces, The Who, The Yardbirds, The Kinks, and The Spencer Davis Group. Lesser-known British bands associated with the mod scene include The Action, The Creation, and John's Children. A youth subculture known as rockers (associated with motorcycles and leather biker jackets) sometimes clashed with the mods, leading to battles in seaside resorts such as Brighton, Margate, and Hastings in 1964. The mods and rockers conflict led to a moral panic about modern youth in Britain. The mods were the products of a culture of constant change, and perhaps it was inevitable that the scene would devour itself. By the time Bobby Moore held the World Cup aloft in the summer of 1966, the mod scene was in sharp decline. As psychedelic music and the hippie culture rose, many people drifted away from the mod lifestyle. Hippie culture presented a passive outlook on life that was the total opposite of the frenetic energy of the mod ethos.�

During the late 1960s, there were a handful of comics that were created by middle-aged editors, writers and cartoonists trying to be �hep� � er, �hip�, in order to attract young readers with comics focusing on the rising youth culture. These included DC�s SWING WITH SCOOTER and BROTHER POWER THE GEEK, Harvey�s BUNNY (�Queen Of The In-Crowd�) and ROCK HAPPENING and Charlton�s GO-GO.

THE MODNIKS No. 1 (which is alternately numbered �10206-708�) bears the cover-date of August, 1967. There was only one other issue of THE MODNIKS ever published -- and that was nearly three years later! But what�s really Oddball is that, as the above definition explains, the mod movement was completely dormant by 1970. It�s likely that the folks at Gold Key had commissioned this to be written and drawn as an immediate follow-up to the first issue, but it languished in their flat-files until 1970! Perhaps Gold Key�s editorial staff hoped that, if comic book readers were looking for something hipper than ARCHIE, at least THE MODNIKS were preferable to dirty hippies (a social movement that, at least in San Francisco, the city of their origin, was also on the wane in 1970)! In any event, Gold Key was really trying to put a pro-social spin on THE MODNIKS; what else could explain a lame cover-line like �Go-Go Guys And Gals Play It Cool To Beat The Heat On �Wheels� And His Cy-Clowns!� (I�m not even sure that I know what that means -- and I was 15 in 1967, so I oughtta know!)

THE MODNIKS� cast of characters includes: �Wheels� Williams, the Modniks� leader; �Lump�, their ever-hungry strong man; �'Scot�, the cute, go-go dancing blonde; and��Little Bit�? According to the Grand Comics Database, �The name Little Bit is used in reference to a male. The red-head on the cover is not directly identified in any story so it is an assumption that he is Little Bit.� (Whatever his name is, the character rarely has any lines of dialog and is often partially obscured by other characters, in the distant background of panels � or entirely absent from them!) There�s also �Big Dad�, the owner of the local pizza parlor; �Cube�, Surfside High School�s biggest nerd; �Reject�, Cube�s female counterpart; and �Mr. Barlow (inconsistently identified as �Herbert� in the second issue of THE MODNIKS) Blair�, the middle-aged principal of Surfside High School, a man so conservative that he could have fit right in as an editor for the Western Publishing Company!

THE MODNIKS� cover and interior stories� artwork is certainly familiar-looking -- but unfortunately, it�s unsigned. It might be Fred (MANDRAKE THE MAGICIAN) Fredericks or possibly even Jerry (BATMAN) Robinson. One thing is for certain; whoever drew it was working through the East Coast offices of Western Publishing, Co., Inc.

This issue�s 7-page �Modniks� lead story is �Cube Goes Mod�. It begins in �Big Dad�s� pizza parlor, where all four Modniks are rocking out:

WHEELS WILLIAMS (singing):
Ya gotta go-go with a go-go gal, yeah, yeah!
LUMP (singing):
Yeah! Yeah!
�SCOT (singing):
�Cause a go-go gal can be a real go-go pal!
LITTLE BIT (singing):
Oh, yeah!

The Modniks take five from playing to chat with their less-than-hip friend, �Cube�, who wears his hear in a crew cut:

LUMP:
Hey, Cube! Whattya hear from Squaresville?
CUBE:
Still making all that noise, Lump?
WHEELS WILLIAMS:
Noise? Man, this is music! Cube, we dig you big�but you just don�t make the scene!
�SCOT:
You gotta be mod, baby, if you want to be �in�!
CUBE:
�MOD�? Wh-what�s that?
WHEELS WILLIAMS:
Come on, Cube! We gotta set you straight! You wanna be �mod�, don�t cha?
CUBE:
Su -- sure, I guess!
�SCOT:
We got a mission! We�re gonna make a square into a swinger, group!
BIG DAD:
Like they say�Lotsa luck!
LITTLE BIT:
Impossible!
LUMP:
So long, Big Dad!
WHEELS WILLIAMS:
I used to be square, too! But I started diggin� the sounds and one thing leads to another!
CUBE:
But I don�t dig the sounds!
LUMP:
You will, Cube!
�SCOT:
First we gotta change your square haircut!

The Modniks take Cube to a local beauty parlor and buy him a bright orange wig, then they accompany him to a nearby barber shop:

WHEELS WILLIAMS:
Stupid! You�ve got it on backwards! The long part goes in front!
LUMP:
We�ll get you a real �mod� trim!
�SCOT:
When we get through, you will be right at home on Carnaby Street in London!
CUBE:
I thought we won the Revolutionary War!

The barber �does his thing� with Cube�s wig, transforming it into a shaggy masterpiece. Unfortunately, Cube fails to appreciate his accomplishment and tosses the wig outside, where it lands on the head of a passing pooch:

LUMP:
Look! That dog swings more than you do!

Next, they load Cube onto one of their motor scooters and take him to �The Mad Mod Shop�, where they plan to buy him some new �threads�. Once inside, [pic2]a middle-aged sales clerk with long red hair, a bristling moustache and a bright pink jacket[pic2] greet them:

SALES CLERK:
What are you bringing me? A disaster area?
WHEELS WILLIAMS:
He needs help, dad!
LUMP:
Man, he dresses like the late, late show!
SALES CLERK:
Just try these on! You�ll feel like somethin� else!
CUBE:
I�d rather TRY ON something else!

When he emerges from the dressing room, Cube is wearing a flowered, pink-and-purple outfit that looks like a combination between pajamas and a sofa cover.

WHEELS WILLIAMS:
WOW! Whatta kicky outfit!

Lump retrieves Cube�s wig and sets it on his head while the Modniks take their made-over friend back to Big Dad�s pizza parlor.

BIG DAD:
Man, like I see it, but I just don�t believe it!
�SCOT:
Okay, cats! Let�s swim!
WHEELS WILLIAMS (singing):
It was a job well done! Now maybe Cube can have some fun!
�SCOT (singing):
He was uncool and really square�but he�s hip now with that crazy hair!
CUBE:
How did I ever get into this?

While the Modniks rock out, Cube sneaks away from them and back to �The Mad Mod Shop�, where he trades in his cool new threads for his preferred square ones, then gives his wig back to the pooch who accidentally wore it earlier.

CUBE:
Nice fellow! It looks better on you than it did on me!

Back at Big Dad�s pizza parlor, the Modniks finally realize that Cube must have �cut out�, just as he returns, looking like his old, un-hip self:

CUBE:
I�m sorry, fellows! I just felt conspicuous!
WHEELS WILLIAMS:
Conspicuous?
LINDA:
Well, what do you think you are NOW?
LUMP:
Man, you�re the most conspicuous cat in here!
CUBE:
OHH!

In response, the Modniks launch into another excruciating song:

WHEELS WILLIAMS (singing):
Once a square, always a square, yeah, yeah!
LINDA (singing):
If you wanna be a square, well, we don�t care!
LUMP (singing):
No matter what you say, each cat�s gotta swing in his own way!
CUBE:
What�d I do wrong?

Also included in this issue of THE MODNIKS are the following stories and features:

�The Modniks� in �Hairy Tale�, a black-and-white, inside-front-cover gag-strip. -- After seeing a steady stream of long-haired teenage boys -- including �Wheels� and �Lump� -- stroll past his shop, a barber changes the sign in his window from �haircut� to �hairset�.

�The Modniks� in �Surfing A Go-Go�. -- On a Friday afternoon, Wheels, Lump and �Scot go surfing. Meanwhile, in his board room, Principal Blair sings the virtues of �surf fishing� to his staff, who get queasy at the merest mention of fishing. Later, down at the beach, Principal Blair attempts some surf fishing, but instead, he �catches� Wheels, who accidentally runs him over on his surf board. Principal Blair tries to get Big Dad to cooperate with him by insisting he stop the Modniks from surfing -- they�re scaring away the fish! Drenched, he staggers away as Big Dad wonders what Principal Blair�s got up his water-soaked sleeve. That night, at the town council meeting, Principal Blair makes a speech: �And so, I propose that surfing be banned from prime fishing areas! >Ahem< You gentlemen being fishermen will understand the necessity for this action!� A few days later, signs pop up on the beach, ones that read �Surfing Banned Here�. This really bums out Wheels, but when Big Dad suggests that the Modnik switch to scuba diving, Wheels dashes to the pizza parlor to spread the word. Later, at the beach, Lump spots Principal Blair reciting poetry to himself while he surf-fishes and reports back to Wheels and �Scot. The three Modniks don their scuba-suits and swim, underwater, about a half-mile down the beach, toward the unaware Principal Blair. They tie his fishing line to an old wader boot, then, as Principal Blair reels it him, continue to attach such items as an old tire and a girl�s bathing suit. Embarrassed, Principal Blair switches to the nearby pier as a safer place from which to fish, unaware of the sign that proclaims, �Pier Condemned -- DANGER�. When he steps the wrong ways on one of the pier�s rickety steps, Principal Blair finds himself surfing on the crudest surf board imaginable. Then he unintentionally interrupts the fishing of his buddies on the town council, who angrily react to the sight of him. Dragging him to court, Principal Blair is forced to pay a fine of $50, if for no other reason than to discourage further exposure of his monster-loving cronies. Ultimately, the outdoorsmen are forced to admit that they could probably find a better place to fish, leaving the area to the young surfers. Later, we see that [pic3]Principal Blair has joined the surf-riding Modniks[pic3], demonstrating some pretty impressive surfing skills.

�Mini-Comics�, a one-page generic pantomime gag-strip.

�Monster Museum�, [pic4]an Oddball one-page feature[pic4] that, frankly, seems rather out-of-place in a usually-conservative Gold Key funnybook. It states, �Our Monster Museum is a pretty busy place these days, what with one monster after another claiming recognition and trying to out-scare each other. We hope you enjoy this collection.� This installment features such oddly disturbing critters as �The Mad Hatter�, the �Lard Lipped Lolly Lapper�, �The Terrible Tic Tocking Time-Osaur� and the �Blackboard Bantom�.

�Quick Takes�, a page of four unrelated generic pantomime gag-strips.

�Jest For Fun�, an illustrated page of jokes and riddles.

�The Modniks� in �The Match-Makers�. -- When Wheels learns that Cube doesn�t have a date for the big beach party, the Modnik volunteers to help find him one. While they hang out at Big Dad�s pizza parlor, looking for likely female candidates, �Scot is counseling [pic5]Reject, a teenage girl who�s just as �square� as Cube[pic5]; not surprisingly, she doesn�t have a date for the beach party, either. But when �Scot and Wheels introduce Cube and Reject to each other, Reject gets the wrong impression and assumes that Wheels is the guy with whom �Scot is trying to set her up. To rectify matters, Wheels and �Scot decide to ask Reject and Cube to dance with each of them. This exhausts the two �squares�, so much so that at the big beach party, Cube and Reject huddle together, admiring each other�s stamp collections. As the Modniks sing, �If you want to really rate, just go out and find your mate! For every guy there�s a gal who�ll care, for every creep there�s a square!�

�The Modniks� in �Big Dad, The Swinging Tutor�. -- When Wheels learns that �Mad-Ave� Blair has approved a dance in the high school gym, he�s eager to sign up as the event�s music provider. But Principal Blair has already booked Percy Wesley and his �square� orchestra to play. Principal Blair reminds Wheels that if the Modnik didn�t improve his grades in his history class, he wouldn�t be allowed to play at any more school functions. Fortunately, �Scot has an inspired brainstorm; why not get Big Dad -- an admitted history buff -- to tutor Wheels so he can raise his grade. Soon, Big Dad is teaching Wheels about such historical �swingers� as Napoleon, Lindbergh and Columbus; as a mnemonic device, Wheels and the other Modniks even write songs about the historical figures. That night, just as Principal Blair is going to bed, the Modniks turn up on his front lawn, challenging the school administrator to ask Wheels �anything about history� to test his knowledge. Wheels passes Principal Blair�s test with flying colors, so he�s allowed to go to the school dance in the gym. Unfortunately, Percy Wesley and his orchestra are still booked to perform. The following night, while Percy and his group play, the Modniks set up in the locker room located directly beneath the gymnasium. Meanwhile, upstairs at the dance, Cube asks Linda to dance, but she�s too distracted by the groovy tunes she can hear emanating through the floor. Recognizing it as Modnik music, Linda and the other students make a beeline for the basement, where Wheels and his friends are singing their songs about historical figures. [pic6]Percy and his orchestra[pic6] abandon the gym�s stage; even he admits that he�s �been dyin� for a chance to swing out�! Even Principal Blair joins the fun, dancing with PTA president Mrs. Bodley to what he refers to as �music appreciation�.

�Chuckle Time�, a page of four unrelated one-panel gag cartoons.

�Picture Dictionary -- The Walrus�, a one-page educational feature illustrated by cartoonist Dick Rockwell.

�The Modniks� in �The Long Weight�, a black-and-white, inside-back-cover gag-strip. -- When �Little Bit� asks �Lump� how much he weighs, the hefty Modnik inserts a coin into a nearby parking meter, checks its reading and responds, �Whatta ya know? I gained an hour!�

A back-cover �Modniks� pin-up, reproducing the front cover minus the logo and cover-copy.

(Wow, there�s no advertising in this funnybook�not even a single house-ad! If nothing else, this issue of THE MODNIKS really gave kids their 12� worth�as long as they weren�t hoping it was one of those �underground comix� that real hippies read!)

ODDBALL FACTOID � Gold Key also published a single issue of its only romance comic, the rarely-seen MOD LOVE!

New Next Week: ODDBALL COMIC #1,232 � MONDAY, JULY 7, 2008 -- Climb into your time-traveling chocolate donut and join us as we shine our spotlight on DESTINATION: CREATION, an ODDBALL COMIC that attempts to answer questions about dinosaurs, aliens and the cosmic origins of the galaxy -- all from a distinctly Christian point of view! Even Odder, this surprisingly entertaining funnybook has more in common with one of those underground �comix� than with your average Jack Chick religious tract!

Lego Batman: Secret Files and Origins

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 00:00:59 -0700

Here at ODDBALL COMICS, we�ve seen �The Robot Batman�, �The Giant Batman�, �The Mummy Batman�, �The Rainbow Batman�, �The Zebra Batman� and even Bob Kane�s �Bat-Baby�! But you haven�t seen anything until you�ve seen the blockheaded -- er, brick-headed stars of LEGO BATMAN: SECRET FILES AND ORIGINS! Meet �LEGO Batman�, �LEGO Robin�, �LEGO Nightwing�, �LEGO Commissioner Gordon�, �LEGO Alfred�, �LEGO Joker�, �LEGO Two-Face�, �LEGO Mr. Freeze�, �LEGO Poison Ivy� and �LEGO Scarecrow�! To quote ZZ Top, �We�ve got LEGOS and we know how to use them!� TITLE � LEGO BATMAN: SECRET FILES [fieldinserts][issuetitle]Title: [subissuetitle]Lego Batman: Secret Files and Origins[subissuetitle]
[issuetitle][issue]Issue: [subissue]None[subissue]
[issue][publicationdate]Date: [subpublicationdate]2006[subpublicationdate]
[publicationdate][publisher]Publisher: [subpublisher]�Prepared for Lego of America by DC Comics�[subpublisher]
[publisher][coverartists]Cover Artist(s): [subcoverartists]Unknown[subcoverartists]

[coverartists][introtext]Here at ODDBALL COMICS, we�ve seen �The Robot Batman�, �The Giant Batman�, �The Mummy Batman�, �The Rainbow Batman�, �The Zebra Batman� and even Bob Kane�s �Bat-Baby�! But you haven�t seen anything until you�ve seen the blockheaded -- er, brick-headed stars of LEGO BATMAN: SECRET FILES AND ORIGINS! Meet �LEGO Batman�, �LEGO Robin�, �LEGO Nightwing�, �LEGO Commissioner Gordon�, �LEGO Alfred�, �LEGO Joker�, �LEGO Two-Face�, �LEGO Mr. Freeze�, �LEGO Poison Ivy� and �LEGO Scarecrow�! To quote ZZ Top, �We�ve got LEGOS and we know how to use them!� TITLE � LEGO BATMAN: SECRET FILES [introtext]

[fieldinserts]Although the sight of a two-heads-tall plastic Dark Knight is more than a bit Oddball, I�ve gotta give props to the cartoonists who drew this comic, Marcus Miller and Joseph Rubenstein, for coming up with acting and poses that actually allow these comically stunted LEGO characters to do some authentic-looking superheroing.

The origins of LEGO blocks go back to 1932 in the Danish village of Billund, where carpenter Ole Kirk Christiansen had a small company that produced, among other items, wooden toys. In 1934, the name �Lego� was given to all of the outfit�s toys; the new word was an intentional combination of �LEg� and �GOdt�, which more-or-less translates to �play well�. Christiansen�s company saw a major setback in 1942, when a fire burnt down the factory, but the operation was soon rebuilt. In 1947, the LEGO company bought its own plastic injection-molding machine, Denmark�s first. But although the company had, by then, produced somewhere around two hundred different varieties of plastic and wooden toys, the plastic LEGO �brick� wasn�t created until 1949, bearing the name of �Automatic Binding Bricks�, and it was still only available in Denmark. (These bricks were based largely on the design of �Kiddicraft Self-Locking Bricks�, which were released in the UK in 1947.) Although the public was initially somewhat resistant to plastic toys, by 1951, sales of the interlocking blocks and other plastic toys began to usurp the popularity of the company�s wooden toys. They re-named of their �Automatic Binding Bricks� to �LEGO Mursten� or � LEGO Bricks�. When the company released the �LEGO System Of Play�, a variety of construction playsets and vehicles that offered an opportunity for creative decision-making, LEGOS became a huge hit on the international market. (Oddly, instruction manuals hadn�t been included in Lego sets until 1964!) In 1958, upon his father�s death, Godtfred Kirk Christiansen -- having learned about LEGO from the ground up while working there since he was twelve years old -- became head of the toy company. It was in that year that the modern-day LEGO brick was released. In 1960, there was another major fire in the LEGO Group�s warehouses; this contributed to the elimination of the production of wooden toys altogether. In 1963, the cellulose acetate that originally composed LEGO bricks was replaced by the brighter and stronger material: acrylonitrile butadeine styrene. In 1966, the LEGO Train System was introduced; the original set even included a 4.5-volt motor. In 1967, LEGO released the twice-as-large �DUPLO� blocks, aiming at a their intended target of kids under five years old; after a few years on the international market, the new line was as popular as their progenitors. In 1974, LEGO introduced their first super-stylized, partially posable humanoid figures. Since then, LEGO products have multiplied many times over, with theme kits set throughout time and all over the world, intricate vehicles and robots, �LEGO-ized� licensed characters and properties, as well as LEGO video games and even theme parks. Still a family-owned company, the international LEGO group is now worldwide, and is run by Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen, Ole Kirk Christiansen's grandson.

This issue�s five-page �LEGO Batman: Secret Files And Origins � cover-story is �Deconstructing Gotham�, written by Stephan Nilson, penciled by Marcus Miller, inked by Joe Rubenstein, colored by Jonny Rench and �Mayer�, lettered by Phil Balsman and edited by Jaye Gardner. (Batman�s alleged creator gets his requisite �BATMAN created by Bob Kane� statement, too.) This story begins as an explosion rocks the walls of Arkham Asylum -- �temporary housing for Gotham�s clinically insane. Tonight we emphasize the word �temporary�� -- allowing [pic2]some of its most notorious residents[pic2] to once again roam free:

LEGO TWO-FACE:
We�re going to take this town apart, BRICK by BRICK.
LEGO JOKER:
I don�t know what�s more fun; BEAKING this place apart or WATCHING them put it back together. We just have to avoid BATMAN and his squad of junior do-gooders.
LEGO MR. FREEZE:
Don�t WORRY about Batman. I�ll stop him COLD.
LEGO JOKER:
Hee hee, FREEZE, your brain must have thawed. TWO-FACE and I will handle the bats. You just stick to the plan and we�ll be laughing all the way to the BANK. Ha HA ha ha HA ha ha ha HA!

Meanwhile, across town, the villains� escape doesn�t escape the notice of LEGO Batman, who�s ensconced in the bowels of the Batcave with his faithful butler, LEGO Alfred:

LEGO ALFRED:
Sir, we have a RED ALERT at Arkham. Quite intuitive of you to install those CAMERAS outside of the asylum.
LEGO BATMAN:
Hmmm�Yes, Alfred. I�ll need to talk to Police COMMISSIONER GORDON about reinforcing those walls�.but that�s a conversation for another day. Right now, I need to contact NIGHTWING and ROBIN.
LEGO ALFRED:
I believe they are both on patrol near MILLER HARBOR.

Lego Batman climbs into his Lego Batmobile -- which must be rather difficult without knees -- while issuing orders to LEGO
Alfred:

LEGO BATMAN:
Alert Nightwing and Robin -- have them meet me at GOTHAM FIRST NATIONAL BANK.
LEGO ALFRED:
It WILL be done.
NARRATIVE CAPTION:
Fifteen minutes later, Batman, Nightwing and Robin arrive at GOTHAM FIRST NATIONAL BANK.

After connecting with his young costumed associates, Lego Batman formulates a plan, while we�re shown [pic3]scenes of them stopping LEGO Mr. Freeze, LEGO Scarecrow and LEGO Poison Ivy in mid-crime[pic3]:

LEGO NIGHTWING:
We�re all here, Batman. Who�s FIRST on the list to bring down?
LEGO BATMAN:
We start with the easy ones. The THUGS�the COWARDLY�and the PREDICTABLE.

Later, LEGO Batman, LEGO Nightwing and LEGO Robin meet with LEGO Commissioner Gordon outside the Gotham Museum Of Art, while LEGO policemen load the captured criminals into a police van:

LEGO COMMISSIONER GORDON:
I see you�ve had a busy night. MR. FREEZE, SCARECROW and POISON IVY have all been caught.
LEGO BATMAN:
It�s just getting started, Commissioner. Joker and Two-Face are still on the loose.
LEGO COMMISSIONER GORDON:
Any idea WHERE they are?
LEGO JOKER (from off-panel):
Eyes up, OLD-TIMER.

The quartet look up to see LEGO Joker riding in a missile-laden helicopter:

LEGO JOKER:
HELLO, BATSY! Hope you and the batboys enjoyed the opening act, because the real show�s about to begin and it�s a BLAST! Ha HA ha HA HA ha ha ha HA!

They�re suddenly interrupted as an armored car carrying gun-shooting LEGO Two-Face crashes out of the Gotham Museum Of Art, narrowly missing them. LEGO Batman immediately issues orders, while he hitches a ride on LEGO Joker�s helicopter with his trusty Bat-rope. Then, using a control from his utility belt, he summons [pic4]his LEGO Batwing plane[pic4] from its hidden hangar:

LEGO BATMAN:
Nightwing, you and Robin STOP Two-Face.
LEGO NIGHTWING/LEGO ROBIN (in unison):
You got it.
LEGO BATMAN:
I�ll take care of the Joker.

While LEGO Joker takes off, unaware that LEGO Batman is climbing upwards toward him, LEGO Nightwing, on his motorcycle, pursues LEGO Two-Face�s armored car, As LEGO Batman boards LEGO Joker, he quickly dispatches one of the green-haired villain�s thugs with a kick to the face. Meanwhile, LEGO Nightwing shoots out one of LEGO Two-Face�s tires. In the skies above Gotham City, LEGO Batman defiantly faces LEGO Joker:

LEGO JOKER:
Ha ha! What are you going to do NOW, Batty-Boy? You CAN�T fly this thing and fight me at the same time!
LEGO BATMAN:
You�re right, Joker. But I don�t need to FLY your helicopter to take you down.

While, LEGO Two-Face�s armored car nearly flips over due to its blown tire, LEGO Batman grabs LEGO Joker and leaps out of the helicopter, plummeting toward his LEGO Batwing flying directly below them:

LEGO BATMAN:
Your flight�s CANCELED, Joker.
LEGO JOKER:
WAAAAA!

Clutching a cute, plastic Uzi, [pic5]LEGO Two-Face takes aim at LEGO Robin and LEGO Nightwing[pic5]:

LEGO ROBIN:
Wow, he RECOVERED fast!
LEGO NIGHTWING:
Guess that says something for SEATBELTS and AIRBAGS.

While falling through the air, LEGO Batman administers a blast of Bat-gas to LEGO Joker:

LEGO BATMAN:
This would be so much easier if you just RELAXED and let the knock-out gas take effect.
LEGO JOKER (woozy):
I�ll get you yet, Bats, and your little sidekick tooooo�

Meanwhile, LEGO Nightwing and LEGO Robin remind LEGO Two-Face that he needs to consult his special two-faced coin before he acts against them:

LEGO NIGHTWING:
Haven�t you FORGOTTEN something, Two-Face?
LEGO ROBIN:
Yeah, you forgot to flip your COIN.
LEGO TWO-FACE:
Uh, you�re correct. Let�s seal your FATE.

Above them, LEGO Batman pilots the LEGO Batwing with gas-drugged LEGO Joker as his captive:

LEGO BATMAN:
Now, let�s go see how my partners are faring against yours.
LEGO JOKER (woozy):
Hee hee! No�not the RUBBER mallet�the WOODEN one is funnier.

While [pic6]LEGO Two-Face flips his trademark two-headed coin[pic6], LEGO Nightwing and LEGO Robin take advantage of the moment and clobber the scarred villain with a hurled baton:

LEGO NIGHTWING:
I call HEADS.
LEGO ROBIN:
I�ll take TAILS.
LEGO TWO-FACE:
Ugh!

Reuniting, the trio of crime-fighters take off in the LEGO Batwing, leaving trussed-up LEGO Joker and LEGO Two-Face for the authorities:

NARRATIVE CAPTION:
With all the inmates captured and place in custody, Commissioner Gordon oversees the rebuilding of Arkham Asylum. BATMAN, ROBIN and NIGHTWING return to the BATCAVE knowing that it�s only a matter of time before they are called upon again to protect GOTHAM and its CITIZENS.

(Y�know, considering the �decompressed� storytelling in most current-day superhero comics, compared to this LEGO BATMAN: SECRET FILES AND ORIGINS tale that�s compressed into a mere five pages, maybe most funnybooks should be told with silly-looking LEGOS standing in for their characters!)

Also included in this 16-page (including covers) slick �giveaway� issue of LEGO BATMAN: SECRET FILES AND ORIGINS -- labeled a �special collectors edition!� -- are the following stories, features and advertisements:

�Secret Files And Origins: BATMAN�, an inside-front-cover ad for LEGO set #7782.

�Secret Files And Origins: ROBIN�, an ad for LEGO set #7784 (�The Batcave: The Penguin�) and LEGO set #7785 (�Arkham Asylum�).

�Secret Files And Origins: THE BATCAVE�, an ad for LEGO set #7784 (�The Batcave: The Penguin�).

�Battle For The Batcave!�, [pic7]a double-page photo-spread ad[pic7], depicting a diorama constructed from various sets of �Batman� LEGO toys.

�Secret Files And Origins: THE JOKER�, an ad for LEGO set #7782.

�Secret Files And Origins: TWO-FACE�, an ad for LEGO set #7781.

�Secret Files And Origins: PENGUIN & FREEZE�, an ad for LEGO set #7784 (�The Batcave: The Penguin�).

�Secret Files And Origins: ARKHAM ASYLUM�, an inside-back-cover ad for LEGO set #7785 (�Arkham Asylum�).

�The Dark Knight�s Ultimate Toy!�, a back-cover ad for LEGO set #7784.

ODDBALL FACTOID � On April 8, 2008, Dean Kamen -- the �Segway�-inventing son of legendary EC Comics� cartoonist Jack Kamen -- received the �LEGO Prize� for his passionate commitment to the non-profit organisation FIRST (For Inspiration and Recognition of Science and Technology), which he founded in 1989!

** For more on LEGO�s line of �Batman� building sets, please visit <www.LEGO.com/Batman> **

New Next Week: ODDBALL COMIC #1,231 -- MONDAY, JUNE 30, 2008 -- They�re back! Wheels, Lump, �Scot and the group�s mysterious, red-haired fourth member -- collectively known as THE MODNIKS! But since this is another great ODDBALL COMIC, these are some of the lamest, most squeaky-clean hipsters ever to appear in a funnybook! (Maybe that�s why their fourth member refuses to divulge his identity!) Plus, see what happens when their �square� friends Cube and Reject receive groovy makeovers, courtesy of the Modniks!

I'm Dickens... He's Fenster, No. 1

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:00:35 -0700

Meet two of the craziest carpenters ever to star in their own sitcom, I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER, one of those forgotten TV series of the �60s that somehow wound up with its own ODDBALL COMIC book adaptation! See what happens when Harry Dickens -- played by John (THE ADDAMS FAMILY) Astin -- and Arch Fenster -- played by Marty (PAC-MAN) Ingels -- wind up with a mad scientist�s robot as their mechanical assistant! So, what are this funnybook�s connections to BATMAN, SHEENA (�Queen Of The Jungle�) and �Sinistro, Boy Fiend�? [fieldinserts][issuetitle]Title: [subissuetitle]I'm Dickens... He's Fenster[subissuetitle]
[issuetitle][issue]Issue: [subissue]No. 1[subissue]
[issue][publicationdate]Date: [subpublicationdate]May - July, 1963[subpublicationdate]
[publicationdate][publisher]Publisher: [subpublisher]Dell Publishing Co., Inc.[subpublisher]
[publisher][coverartists]Cover Artist(s): [subcoverartists]None[subcoverartists]

[coverartists][introtext]Meet two of the craziest carpenters ever to star in their own sitcom, I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER, one of those forgotten TV series of the �60s that somehow wound up with its own ODDBALL COMIC book adaptation! See what happens when Harry Dickens -- played by John (THE ADDAMS FAMILY) Astin -- and Arch Fenster -- played by Marty (PAC-MAN) Ingels -- wind up with a mad scientist�s robot as their mechanical assistant! So, what are this funnybook�s connections to BATMAN, SHEENA (�Queen Of The Jungle�) and �Sinistro, Boy Fiend�?[introtext]

[fieldinserts]Stuck only with a publicity photo for a new, untested TV sitcom as their cover, the editors at Dell must have decided to add some excitement to the scene by using a caption to imply that Harry and Arch are looking at an off-camera robot! Of course, I don�t think that I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER ever actually featured a robot, since it was only a TV sitcom with an appropriately low budget. But as a comic book, the low budget was unimportant, because cartoonists can draw anything -- even robots! And speaking of cartoonists, it�s also interesting to note that Henry Scarpelli must have been working from extremely limited photo-reference, because drawings of the actors� specific angles and expressions seem to repeat over and over again, such as this close-up of actor Marty Ingels [pic2]here[pic2] and [pic3]here[pic3] and [pic4]here[pic4] and [pic5]here[pic5] and [pic6]here[pic6], and oh, yeah, [pic7]here[pic7], too!

I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER (9/28/1962 - 9/13/1963, ABC) was a TV sitcom about a pair of comedic carpenters, �Harry Dickens� (played by John Astin) and �Arch Fenster� (played by Marty Ingels). Harry was married and essentially down-to-earth (although he was also an amateur inventor) while Arch was a bachelor and much more eccentric, wearing overalls that contained an astounding array of alphabetically-filed objects in its pockets. Other cast members included Emmaline Henry as �Kate Dickens�, Dave Ketchum as �Mel Warshaw�, Harry Beckman as �Mulligan�, Frank De Vol as �Mr. Bannister� and Noam Pitlik as �Bentley�. The series -- which was produced by GET SMART�s Leonard Stern -- lasted for only a single season of 31 half-hour episodes.

Actor John Allen Astin was born on March 30, 1930 in Baltimore, Maryland. (His father was the director of the National Bureau Of Standards.) Originally, John was a college student majoring in mathematics, but after acting in a school play, he changed his course of study to theater. John graduated from Johns Hopkins University in 1952. Starting his acting career in the theater, John soon found himself doing voiceovers for television commercials. John�s first role in a film was in 1960�s THE PUSHER, but his big break in acting was a small but memorable role in the musical film WEST SIDE STORY (1961). John�s other films include: THAT TOUCH OF MINK (1962); PERIOD OF ADJUSTMENT (1962); THE WHEELER DEALERS (1963); MOVE OVER, DARLING (1963); CANDY (1968); VIVA MAX! (1970); BUNNY O�HARE (1971); EVIL ROY SLADE (1972); GET TO KNOW YOUR RABBIT (1972); FREAKY FRIDAY (1976); NATIONAL LAMPOON�S EUROPEAN VACATION (1985); MR. BOOGEDY (1986); BODY SLAM (1987); TEEN WOLF TOO (1987) RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES! (1988); KILLER TOMATOES STRIKE BACK! (1990); GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH (1990); KILLER TOMATOES EAT FRANCE! (1991); STEPMONSTER (1993); THE SILENCE OF THE HAMS (1994); Peter Jackson�s THE FRIGHTENERS (1996); and SCHOOL OF LIFE (2005). After co-starring in I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER, John was cast in his role of a lifetime, �Gomez Addams� in ABC�s THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1964 - 1966), a TV series based on NEW YORKER gag cartoons by Charles Addams. He also played �The Riddler� on ABC�s BATMAN series, temporarily assume the role created by impressionist Frank Gorshin. John�s other television appearances include: MAVERICK; OPERATION PETTICOAT; NIGHT COURT (as mental patient �Buddy Ryan�); and THE ADVENTURES OF BRISCO COUNTY, JR. (as �Professor Albert Wickwire�). John has also appeared in the television series: THE TWILIGHT ZONE; DENNIS THE MENACE; HAZEL; THE WILD, WILD WEST; THE FLYING NUN; NIGHT GALLERY; MURDER, SHE WROTE (as �Sheriff Harry Pierce�): DIFF�RENT STROKES; MAD ABOUT YOU; EERIE, INDIANA; SUPER PASSWORD; TALES FROM THE CRYPT (for which he was nominated for an Ace Award); THE HUGHLEYS; and THE NEW ADDAMS FAMILY (re-cast as �Grandpa Addams�). John performed voiceovers for the animated TV series ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES (reprising his live-action role of �Professor Gangrene�); THE ADDAMS FAMILY (as �Gomez Addams� of course, although he was actually asked to audition for the part!); and TAZ-MANIA (as �Bull Gator�). John Astin�s productions for the stage have included: a New York production of THE THREEPENNY OPERA; Charles Laughton's production of Shaw's MAJOR BARBARA; and the one-man play EDGAR ALLEN POE: ONCE UPON A MIDNIGHT, written by Paul Day Clemens and Ron Magid. Something of a bohemian, John has frequently toured the country in stage productions between sitcoms and other projects. Fellow performers say John would usually live in his van on the road, instead of checking into hotels. John currently teaches method acting and directing in the Writing Seminars Department at Johns Hopkins University, his alma mater. In 1969, John received an Academy award for PRELUDE, a short film he starred in, wrote and directed. John served for four years on the Board of Directors of the Writers Guild of America, John has been married three times; to Suzanne Hahn, Patty (THE MIRACLE WORKER) Duke and his current wife, Valerie Ann Sandobal. His sons are Allen, David, Thomas, Sean (LORD OF THE RINGS) and Mackenzie Astin. A Buddhist and a vegetarian, John has been active in community affairs in Los Angeles and Santa Monica. He and Valerie currently live in Baltimore, Maryland.

Actor Marty Ingels (original name: �Martin Ingerman�) was born in Brooklyn, New York on March 9th, 1936. Despite the presence of his older brother, Arthur, Marty was often picked on by other neighborhood kids. Following high school, he joined the U.S. Army. Hoping to find work as a comedic actor, Marty moved to Hollywood, where he wound up dating and eventually marrying his roommate�s girlfriend. Marty was a contestant on various game shows, even winning prizes on a few of them. Encouraged by this, he continued to pursue acting gigs. In 1959, Marty appeared on THE STEVE ALLEN SHOW; this was followed with small parts on such TV series as: DAN RAVEN; THE ANN SOTHERN SHOW; THE AQUANAUTS; THE DETECTIVES; PETE AND GLADYS; HENNESEY and THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW in the recurring role of �Rob Petrie�s� army buddy, �Sol Pomeroy.� Apparently, this last acting part led to Marty being cast as �Arch Fenster� in I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER. Unfortunately, after the one-season comedy series was cancelled, Marty and his first wife divorced. Fortunately, he continued to get parts in prime-time television, including episodes of BURKE�S LAW; BEWITCHED; GOOD MORNING, WORLD; THE PRUITTS OF SOUTHHAMPTON; THE ROOKIES; ADAM-12; THE GHOST BUSTERS; POLICE STORY; CHIPs; THE LOVE BOAT; FAMILY; BANACEK; MURDER, SHE WROTE; BAYWATCH; WALKER, TEXAS RANGER; Z-SQUAD; and ER. Marty has also appeared as himself in such television shows as: HERE�S HOLLYWOOD; THE HOLLYWOOD PALACE; WHAT�S MY LINE?; THE PRICE IS RIGHT; TO TELL THE TRUTH; GET THE MESSAGE; PLAYBOY AFTER DARK; THE REAL TOM KENNEDY SHOW; THE MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW; THE VIRGINIA GRAHAM SHOW; SANDY IN DISNEYLAND; YOU DON�T SAY; BIOGRAPHY; ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT; and JUDGE JOE BROWN. Marty�s made-for-television movies include: DUNCAN, BE CAREFUL; KISS ME, KATE; and DEADLY GAMES. Marty�s movies include: ARMORED COMMAND (1961); THE LADIES MAN (1961); THE HORIZONTAL LIEUTENANT (1962); WILD AND WONDERFUL (1964); THE BUSY BODY (1967); A GUIDE FOR THE MARRIED MAN (1967); SILENT TREATMENT (1968); FOR SINGLES ONLY (1968); THE PICASSO SUMMER (1969); IF IT�S TUESDAY, THIS MUST BE BELGIUM (1969); HOW TO SEDUCE A WOMAN (1974); LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT (1975); INSTANT KARMA (1990); ROUND NUMBERS (1992); THE OPPOSITE SEX AND HOW TO LIVE WITH THEM (1993); THE JUNGLE BOOK: MOWGLI�S STORY (1998); KARTENSPIELER (1999); DOWN THE BARREL (2003); WEDNESDAY AGAIN (2008); and PARASOMNIA (2008). Marty�s voice-over work for animated cartoon shows include: �Autocat� in MOTORMOUSE AND AUTOCAT; �Beegle Beagle� in THE GREAT GRAPE APE SHOW; �Pac-Man� in PAC-MAN and CHRISTMAS COMES TO PACLAND and �The Devil� in DARKWING DUCK. In 1977, Marty met and married actress Shirley (THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY) Jones, becoming the stepfather to Shaun, Ryan and Patrick Cassidy (sons resulting from her marriage to actor Jack (HE AND SHE) Cassidy). Marty and Shirley appeared together in the educational video against elder abuse, Rx FOR ABUSE. In recent years, he has worked more as an agent than an actor, specializing in representing actors in celebrity endorsement advertising; one of his most famous clients was Orson Welles. He has also done voiceovers for commercial spots, including for Paul Masson wines. Marty Ingels and Shirley Jones currently live in Encino, California.

Dell�s I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER comic book didn�t fare much better than the TV series it adapted; it only ran for two issues, the second of which was cover-dated August - October, 1963.

Cartoonist Henry Scarpelli, born in 1930, studied at the School Of Visual Arts in New York City. His first printed work was �Henry The Laffing Hyena�, a back-up strip that appeared in some of DC Comics� �funny-animal� titles in 1947 and 1948; he continued his career working for a newspaper syndicate designing sales brochures and ads for feature presentations. From 1952 to 1955, he worked as an art assistant on General Features� syndicated comic, LITTLE SPORT. Henry followed this with a cartoon panel of his own creation, TV TEE-HEES a syndicated feature which appeared in 150 newspapers from 1956 to 1975. Later on, Scarpelli pursued a career in comic books. He first worked at Dell Publishing as the artist for comic book adaptations of such TV shows and feature films as THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES, BEWITCHED, DAKTARI, ENSIGN PULVER, THE FLYING NUN, GENTLE BEN, GET SMART, HOGAN�S HEROES, I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER, McHALES� NAVY and WHO�S MINDING THE MINT?, among others. Scarpelli freelanced for other major comic book publishers such as DC, Marvel, Charlton and Archie Comics. At DC, Scarpelli inked (and occasionally penciled) ANGEL AND THE APE, �Benedict�, �Benny�, BINKY, BINKY�S BUDDIES, DATE WITH DEBBI/DEBBI�S DATES, THE ADVENTURES OF JERRY LEWIS, LEAVE IT TO BINKY, �Mal�, �Mr. O�, �The Guardian And The Newsboy Legion�, �Rose And The Thorn�, �Stanley And His Monster�, SUPERGIRL, SUPERMAN, �The Super-Sons� in WORLD�S FINEST COMICS, SWING WITH SCOOTER, �Wilbur� and various romance comics. For Marvel, Scarpelli worked on MILLIE, �Harvey� and SPOOF, and at Charlton Comics, he drew the early issues of ABBOTT AND COSTELLO (written by Steve (AQUAMAN, PLOP!) Skeates, based on the syndicated Hanna-Barbera animated cartoons) and CHARLTON PREMIERE Vol. 2, No. 3, which introduced �Evil�s Own Super Hero�, �Sinistro, Boy Fiend�. At Archie Comics, Scarpelli worked on ARCHIE, ARCHIE AT RIVERDALE HIGH, THE ARCHIES, BETTY AND ME, HOT DOG, JOSIE, JUGHEAD, THE NEW ARCHIES, �Pop Tate�, �Reggie�, SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH, THAT WILKIN BOY and VERONICA. In the early 1990s, Scarpelli was assigned to draw the Creators Syndicate�s ARCHIE newspaper comic strip, both daily and Sunday, written by Craig Boldman. Scarpelli has also drawn gag cartoons, sports cartoons, editorial cartoons and material for THE NATIONAL LAMPOON. Scarpelli is a member of the Association Of American Editorial Cartoonists and the National Cartoonists Society. In 1971 and 1972, he received the Academy Of Comic Book Arts� �Shazam Award� for �Best Inker�. His son, Glenn Scarpelli, was a cast member of the TV sitcom series ONE DAY AT A TIME from 1971 to 1974 (CBS); Glenn currently lives in Arizona and is a producer of local television shows.

This issue�s 32-page �I�m Dickens�He�s Fenster� cover-story is �To Work, Or Not To Work.�, drawn by Henry Scarpelli. It begins one morning as Arch Fenster drops by the Dickens� kitchen:

ARCH FENSTER:
Hi ya, gang! Hey, Harry, ol� buddy! What�cha doing?
KATE DICKENS:
Look for yourself, Arch! You�re about to witness his latest brainstorm invention!
HARRY DICKENS:
Hi, Arch! I�ve just invented the greatest thing ever invented!...An ELEVATING CHAIR!
ARCH FENSTER:
WOW! Hey, Harry, can I try it out?
HARRY DICKENS:
Sure, Arch! Just have a seat an� we�ll see how she works!
ARCH FENSTER:
What happens if I push this button?
SFX:
Buzz-zzz!

Of course, Harry�s screwball invention sends Arch flying upwards, colliding with the ceiling and then crashing to the floor, surrounded by the debris from the elevating chair. Annoyed with them, Kate orders Harry and Arch to get out of her kitchen and do something constructive on their day off, specifically, to perform an overdue chore: moving the lawn. Harry has a quick-fix for this and it�s certainly creative; he ties his pet goat, Billy-Boy to a tree in the yard, allowing the critter to eat all the grass it wants. Returning to the Dickens� kitchen, they�re just in time to take a phone call from someone who needs them to make some repairs. Initially, Harry turns down the gig, explaining that it�s their day off, but when Kate brandishes a pot at his noggin, the carpenter quickly changes his mind. Piling their equipment into Harry�s convertible and take off for the job site, but when Arch unexpected sneezes while reading an upside-down map to navigate, his botched instructions causes Harry to slam his car into a tree. The two carpenters finally arrive at their destination; it�s a spooky-looking old mansion. Ascending the stairs leading to its front porch, Arch, and then Harry, break through the rotting wooden steps, but finally reach and knock upon the old mansion�s front door. They�re soon greeted by a short, eccentric-looking mad scientist with white hair arranged in a wildly inventive comb-over, glasses and a pointed beard. Before they can leave, he ushers Harry and Arch inside and makes them an offer:

MAD SCIENTIST:
Wait, boys�PLEASE! I called you to repair my house! Don�t be afraid! >CHUCKLE< Come in! I will reward you if you fix up my house! I may >CHUCKLE< even pay you for it!
ARCH FENSTER (thinking):
It looks like the city dump!

Then their host proudly shows them his creation, [pic8]a goofy-looking mechanical man[pic8] -- one that looks �retro� even back in 1963, like something out of SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964):

MAD SCIENTIST:
I�ve been so busy working on my robot, I�ve had little time to fix up my house! >CHUCKLE< Come with me, gentlemen, and I�ll show you the robot! >CHUCKLE< I�ve been working on him for years! But I�ve failed to make him operate! >CHUCKLE<
ARCH FENSTER:
WOW! A real ROBOT!
MAD SCIENTIST:
Now I must leave you, gentlemen! I�m in a hurry!
ARCH FENSTER:
Where are you going?
MAD SCIENTIST:
To the movies! They�re showing a new HORROR movie!

With the mansion�s eccentric owner gone, Harry and Arch take a look around the moldering place. Arch becomes fascinated with a taxidermied moose head mounted on the wall:

ARCH FENSTER:
Give me a boost up, Harry! I�ve never seen a moose face to face!

But when Arch loses his balance, he clings to the moose head, tearing it from the wall and crashing to the floor. Harry tries to re-mount the trophy, but he takes a fall, too. Arch digs through the alphabetized pockets of his overalls, but can�t find a ladder, Harry sends him to look around the mansion to locate one. He enters the mad scientist�s laboratory:

ARCH FENSTER (thinking):
Maybe the professor has one in here!
ARCH FENSTER:
Let�s see�Hey, robot, have you seen a ladder anywhere around here? WOW! Look at all these goodies!
ARCH FENSTER (thinking):
I wonder what�ll happen if I push this button?

Unseen by Arch, as soon as he touches a certain button on a control panel marked �Caution�, the mad scientist�s blocky robot stirs to electrical life! Meanwhile, Harry is getting impatient for Arch to return with a ladder, so he decides to go look for his partner. Entering the laboratory, Harry beholds an astonishing sight:

HARRY DICKENS:
>GULP< Arch! Don�t look now, but there�s a robot behind you!
ARCH FENSTER:
Don�t put me on, Harry! He�s sitting in the chair!

Turning, Arch suddenly reacts to the sight of the robot, leaping up to grab an overhead light to escape its grasp. Harry panics, at first running for the safety of home, but immediately changes his mind, determined to discover some way to help his endangered friend:

HARRY DICKENS:
I�ll draw his attention for a while so Arch can get away! Hey, robot! I�ve got something to show you!

The robot closes in on Harry, giving Arch a chance to safely drop down behind the mechanical man. To distract the one-eyed automaton, Harry holds up one of his tools as an object of interest:

HARRY DICKENS:
HEY!! You�re EATING my hammer! Try to turn him off with the controls before he eats up all my tools! Hurry up, Arch! Here, robot -- have a screwdriver!
ARCH FENSTER:
He sure must be HUNGRY!

Arch tries to use the robot�s control panel, but none of the switches work for him. Digging through his overalls, Arch pulls out a book titled HOW TO HYPNOTIZE:

ARCH FENSTER:
Ah, here it is! Let�s see, page 14�You are getting sleepy! Look into my eyes! You are getting -- >yawn<�Hey, Harry! Where are you?

He finds Harry, slumped over in a nearby chair, sound asleep. While he tries to wake up his partner, the robot grabs his book, reads it�and hypnotizes itself! This gives Arch an idea:

ARCH FENSTER:
You�re a dog! A bow-wow! A DOG!
ROBOT:
ARF! ARF!
ARCH FENSTER:
He thinks he�s a DOG!

He event trains the robot to fetch a bone. Suddenly, the mechanical man runs out the door to chase a cat. But when the robot climbs a tree after the frantic feline, Harry observes:

HARRY DICKENS:
HEY! Dogs can�t climb trees!
ARCH FENSTER:
You shouldn�t have told him that!

Like Wile E. Coyote realizing that he can�t walk on air, the robot suddenly crashes to the ground, smashing itself to pieces. Harry and Arch gather up the strewn parts and take them back into the mad scientist�s laboratory. They attempt reassemble the robot:

HARRY DICKENS:
I feel like one of those doctors on television!

But even after putting the robot back together, Harry and Arch can�t get the thing to work:

ARCH FENSTER:
A little oil and he�ll be as good as new!
HARRY DICKENS:
Hey, we still have to repair this house, you know!
ARCH FENSTER:
I�m working all the switches! Is anything happening?
HARRY DICKENS:
No -- NOTHING!! Let�s face it, Arch�We�re carpenters, not scientists! You can waste your time with that contraption if you like! I�m gonna work on the house!
ARCH FENSTER (thinking):
Harry�s RIGHT! It�s useless�but I�m not gonna let HIM know! I think I�ll have a little fun! I�ll build a robot suit!

Before long, Arch is wearing a metal suit that he�s built out of spare parts, one that perfectly duplicates the mad scientist�s robot:

ARCH FENSTER (thinking):
Wait till Harry sees THIS! I�ll leave my overalls on the bench! Maybe I�ll wear this to a masquerade party!

Arch tries to fool Harry that he�s the real robot, but when Harry tests the mechanical man by ordering it to hammer a nail into a window frame, Arch involuntarily reveals himself when he accidentally hits the nail -- of his thumb:

ARCH FENSTER:
OUCH! I hit the wrong nail!
HARRY DICKENS:
You can�t fool me, Arch! Now get out of that silly robot costume and help me fix the house!
ARCH FENSTER:
Well, it ALMOST worked!

But later, Arch decides to give the robot one more try. Covering his eyes, he blindly takes a stab at the control panel:

ARCH FENSTER:
Abra-ca-dabra�eenie-meanie-minie-moe! Now I�ll push this button!
SFX:
BZZ-ZZZ
ROBOT:
Yes, master! I�m at your service!
ARCH FENSTER:
WOW!! I finally pushed the RIGHT button! He�s working like a robot should! I�ll really show Harry a thing or three�HA! HA!

Arch dresses the robot in his overalls and sends it to lend a hand to Harry. As it enters the living room, Harry�s too busy working to turn around to see that it�s not Arch; even after he turns around to see the robot, he assumes it�s just his partner wearing his robot suit again:

HARRY DICKENS:
Well, it�s about time! I hope you�re finished playing around! What�s wrong? You�re not talking! I TOLD you to take off that suit! I don�t feel like playing games!

Thinking that Arch is just being �stubborn�, Harry tries to pull him out of the �costume�, but instead, the robot grabs him, lifting Harry right off of his feet; fortunately for Harry, Arch enters the room and commands the robot to let his friend go. After Arch puts the metal creation through its paces, Harry is astounded that the robot now regards Arch as its master. Later, while Harry and Arch enjoy a snack, the robot completes the repairs they were agreed to accomplish. Then the chuckling mad scientist returns home:

MAD SCIENTIST:
I just saw a great horror movie! What�s going on around here? >CHUCKLE<
ARCH FENSTER:
I put your friend to work! Come on, I�ll SHOW you!

Taking their client outside, Harry and Arch show him the robot, fixing the mansion�s roof:

ARCH FENSTER:
He does a pretty good job, I might add!
MAD SCIENTIST:
It�s my ROBOT! >CHUCKLE< You boys are wonderful! How can I ever thank you for making him work?
HARRY DICKENS/ ARCH FENSTER (in unison):
Oh, we�ll think of a way!

Later, back at Harry�s house, his wife Kate questions the smug duo:

KATE DICKENS:
What do you MEAN -- you won�t have to work on your day off?
HARRY DICKENS:
Shall we show her?
ARCH FENSTER:
Might as well!
HARRY DICKENS:
Come outside, Kate!

In the Dickens� driveway, the robot -- still wearing Arch�s overalls -- is polishing Harry�s convertible, which is now repaired and looking good as new:

SIGNAGE (on side of convertible):
DICKENS, FENSTER AND ROBOT REPAIR SERVICE
ARCH FENSTER:
THIS is why WE won�t have to work on our day off!
HARRY DICKENS:
Yeah, Kate! We get to borrow him on our days off!

Also included in this issue of I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER are the following stories, features and advertisements:

�Arch Fenster� in �Some Kind Of A Nut�, a black-and-white, inside-front-cover gag-strip, drawn by Henry Scarpelli. Arch discovers that he can�t watch any baseball game -- not even a sandlot kids� game -- without a bag of peanuts in his hand.

�Harry Dickens� in �A Clean Sweep�, a half-page, black-and-white, inside-back-cover gag-strip -- which looks like [pic9]it was originally drawn to occupy a full page[pic9] -- drawn by Henry Scarpelli. Harry discovers a new way to get the trash taken out -- mark it as a bag of money and let a burglar steal it!

�10 King-Size Latex Toys For $1.00�, a half-page, black-and-white, inside-back-cover ad for balloons -- �Toss them in the air and they always land on their feet!� -- of �America�s Most Lovable Characters From�Walt Disney�s Wonderful World� -- including Mickey Mouse, Jiminy Cricket, Dopey, Cinderella, Donald Duck, Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan, Davy Crockett, Pinocchio and Zorro -- available via mail-order from �Mother Hubbard�.

�100 Toy Soldiers -- $1.25�, a back-cover ad for �100 toy soldiers, made of durable plastic, each on its own base, measuring up to 4 ��!� and �packed in this footlocker toy storage box�, available through mail-order from �100 Toy Soldiers�.

ODDBALL FACTOID � Cartoonist Henry Scarpelli was also the writer and co-producer of the feature film, FORCED ENTRY, AKA THE LAST VICTIM (1975), starring Tanya (SHEENA) Roberts!

Bonus ODDBALL FACTOID -- In 1966, actor Marty Ingels reunited with his I�M DICKENS�HE�S FENSTER co-star, John (�Gomez Addams�) Astin, when he guest-starred as �Dr. Marvin P. Gunderson� on an episode of THE ADDAMS FAMILY!