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secret laboratory

the bug

President Franklin D. Roosevelt

Prime Minister Winston Churchill

General Douglas MacArthur

“brain radio” and his “viso-scope”

General Dwight D. Eisenhower

he flips out

bugging

pummel

five miles beneath Berlin

President Harry S. Truman

page 1

page 2

back-cover-ad

The inside-front-cover of GREAT AMERICAN COMICS PRESENT THE SECRET VOICE kicks things off in fine Oddball style:

TEXT INTRODUCTION:
NOW IT CAN BE TOLD!

The greatest secret weapon of the modern world is revealed at last!

The Secret Voice as an American Ally is no longer a military secret. The dramatic story of how the Secret Voice helped America and her Allies win the war is now revealed for the first time in the pages of this book.

The real identity of the Secret Voice, long a mystery to the world, is also revealed. But read the book and find out who the Secret Voice is…and you’ll want to “get on the beam” with him.

NOTE: An American Features Special Correspondent has depicted the story of the Secret Voice inspired by actual news reports of activities of a mysterious voice which aided the Allies on all war fronts.

This comic’s 43-page lead story, “The Secret Voice”, edited by J. Warren Burgess and drawn by Ronald Marcus, begins as a new voice is heard on the ISB’s radio networks around the country. Their engineers and technicians are confounded at their inability to control “The Secret Voice” -- or even discern where it’s coming from! It utters things like “The world is your oyster if you think right”, “Think right and we’ll win” and ”Just think right and success is yours”. The board of directors Of “The International Broadcasting System” convenes and agrees that the Secret Voice must be removed from the airwaves or it will ruin all their programs. They offer a $10,000 reward to capture the Secret Voice (although one of them does express the opinion that “it is a kind and sensible voice”.) As the search mounts, the public becomes more aware of the Secret Voice – but its appealing and sensible messages influence folks to start looking forward to hearing it! Thousands of Secret Voice fans send their letters to IBS’ offices, most of them reading similarly to this one:

LETTER:
Gentlemen,

We think the Secret Voice is a great idea to keep programs from becoming monotonous. Please tell us the name of the actor doing this part for you – he has a most charming and sincere voice.

Sincerely, Paula Public

Mr. Staticwhiskers, the president of IBS radio, is worried and frustrated; people think the Secret Voice is a gag! He’s advised to take advantage of the situation; since people love the Secret Voice so much, he should double his offer to find it – and once someone’s found the Secret Voice, he should hire him! Soon after the reward money is increased to $20,000, Mr. Staticwhiskers receives a telegram:

TELEGRAM:
Dear Sir:

Perhaps I can throw some light on the identity of the Secret Voice – if you can make your reward worth while.

Sincerely, Prof. Cunningham Smart c/o Smart Foundation, N.Y. City

Mr. Staticwhiskers responds, eager to meet Prof. Smart’s price and soon, they’ve set up a meeting to meet at the corner of 42nd and Broadway, with the IBS president handing over a check for $1,000.000.00 (which Prof. Smart intends to distribute to veterans’ hospitals all over the United States.) Mr. Staticwhisker rushes to the meeting, followed by a throng of eager reporters. In turn, they proceed to the New Century Building, where they’ll meet with Smart’s colleagues in The World Association Of Super Scientists. Its members discuss Mr. Staticwhisker’s offer, and in the process, repeatedly mention a “bug”. Eventually, they invite in the members of the press. As the newshounds breathlessly wait, Professor Smart makes a statement:

PROFESSOR CUNNINGHAM SMART:
Yes, gentlemen, it is true – for years, people have been helped to success by an invisible little but. No one had seen or photographed him – but my discovery of a fourth dimensional light beam revealed the little fellow to me – a likeable little bug too – has a brain radio – which broadcasts the right ideas to people at the right time – if they are tuned to him – some people call his broadcasts hunches, also inspirations – and if folks would listen to him always everything would be O.K.

Prof. Smart then leads the group into another, smaller room – which turns out to be the interior of a rocket ship! He quickly flies them to his secret laboratory in a “remote spot of the great American desert”:

PROFESSOR CUNNINGHAM SMART:
-- Because of the stupendous influence of the bug on the destiny of human beings it was necessary to conduct all experiments in complete secrecy until we were absolutely certain that this but was really the bug who stands for right in the world. Come in gentlemen, and I will prove to you that the “Secret Voice” is the voice of the invisible bug whom I have named COSMIO (sp.) THE VICTORY BUG – BECAUSE HE PUTS PEOPLE ON THE BEAM WITH THE COSMIC PLAN OF THE UNIVERSE – HE HELPS PEOPLE TO PERSONAL VICTORY AND SUCCESS IN LIFE IF THEY WILL TUNE THEIR BRAIN RADIOS TO HIS -- This way to the globoscope room, gentlemen – and I might add that if I had a lust for power and world conquest I would never reveal the bug to you -- but would direct him to influence millions of human beings to do my bidding for my own selfish gain – however I have no such selfish thoughts – my only hope is that all human beings shall learn to tune their “brain radios” to the bug, who will inspire them to always do the right thing at the right time to bring them continued success in life.

REPORTER #1:
Come on Professor, skip the lecture – let’s see the bug!

REPORTER #2:
Yeah, we want to see the bug.

Finally, Prof. Smart instructs his assistants to operate his “x-ray globoscope” to reveal the bug, his size magnified ten thousand times!

PROFESSOR CUNNINGHAM SMART:
There’s THE BUG now, working on a new idea to broadcast to some deserving person – he’s always preparing new thoughts to broadcast to people who are tuned in to him –

MR. STATICWHISKERS:
Would he broadcast ideas to me?

REPORTER #1:
Gosh! I wish he’d broadcast a new idea to me – I haven’t had one since my wife busted a milk bottle on my head!

REPORTER #2:
Hey, I’d know that bug’s voice anywhere – he kept me from marrying a dizzy blond once!

REPORTER #3:
That voice is familiar – it’s the inside voice which I thought was “hunch”!

Mr. Staticwhiskers gladly hands over his million-dollar check to Prof. Smart, who apologizes for Cosmo The Victory Bug “gate-crashing” the ISB radio network. Then he ushers everyone into his film projection room, where he uses his “4th dimensional X-ray projector” to reveal the bug’s “fight for right”. After some footage of the attack on Pearl Harbor, we see the Victory Bug shorting out the ignitions of 22 “Jap” Zero” bombers, sending them to the bottom of Davy Jones’ locker. Next, we see how Cosmo The Victory Bug secretly counsels President Franklin D. Roosevelt, urging him to declare a state of war against the “Axis barbarians”. Then, when Cosmo’s “worldometer” reveals “new dirty work by Axis gangsters every minute”, he distills a special supply of “faith, optimism and nerve” and secretly distributes it to Prime Minister Winston Churchill. General Douglas MacArthur is the next person to be infused with Cosmo’s “faith, optimism and nerve”, along with the Victory Bug’s assurance that his battle strategy against the Axis is perfect. As the great American fleet moves toward Japan, the Victory Bug influences its sailors to drop depth bombs, taking out a number of “Jap” submarines. Distilling “the essence of hope”, Cosmo sends it to a lone U.S. Marine in the Pacific theater, cut off from his company, with no grenades or ammunition. Inspired by “the Secret Voice” of the Victory Bug, the Marine, outnumbered 1,000-to-1, removes his leather jacket, stretches it over a hollow log and beats a savage jungle rhythm and yells a savage chant, which scares off the Japanese soldiers, who mistake the sounds for that of an approaching tribe of headhunters! Cosmo The Victory Bug uses his “brain radio” and his “viso-scope” to keep him informed of World War II’s events, as well as checking the morale of the people of the Allied nations. Sensing worry in the mind of General Dwight D. Eisenhower, Cosmo recharges his “success battery”, then broadcasts his reassurance to the Supreme Allied Commander himself. Thanks to Eisenhower and the Victory Bug, the European invasion is a success. Next, Prof. Smart’s 4th dimensional X-ray projector shows how, when his worldometer’s “trouble indicator” indicates that an enemy secret bomb-projecting base has launched a bomb to destroy the Allied Commander’s headquarters, the Victory Bug leaps into his tiny, jet-propelled “stratoplane” and zooms to stop the deadly projectile. Landing on the speeding missile, Cosmo The Victory Bug determines that the robot bomb operates by a magnetic gyroscope control. He neutralizes the gravity on the gyro, then reverses the magnetic action and turns the bomb around to go back where it came from!

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
That’s a close shave General Ike didn’t even know he had!

Curiously following the bomb back to its source “just to see what happens”, Cosmo witness the terrific explosion that decimates the Nazi rocket launching base. Detecting that Adolf Hitler is about to call a secret meeting about his role in WWII, Cosmo The Victory Bug flashes forward toward Nazi headquarters! There, when Hitler learns that his robot bombs have blown up the Nazi bases that launched them – and that an “invisible bug” is responsible – he flips out:

ADOLF HITLER:
VOT BUG?

NAZI UNDERLING:
Der Victory Bug!

ADOLF HITLER:
STOP HIM! KILL HIM! Who iss Victory Bug, anyvay?

NAZI UNDERLING:
He iss der bug vot controls all success und victory in der world! Heil Hitler!

ADOLF HITLER:
DOT BUG SHOULD MIND HIS OWN *!!* BUSINESS! – Vait! A display of rage iss no goot – I vill be calm und cool – I vill control mineself! I vill out-smart der bug by my zuper brain!

NAZI UNDERLING:
You iss right. – Heil Hitler!

ADOLF HITLER:
No bug vill get der best of me. The people vill turn against me if I get excited over a little bug – so I get der Gestapo to do der job quietly for me. – Unfortunate accidents are alvays possible even in der unvisible bug vorld!

Calling his “best” Gestapo generals together, Hitler’s secret meeting is repeatedly interrupted by Cosmo The Victory Bug, who keeps bugging the dictator by buzzing him in his tiny stratoplane. When Hitler orders his men to capture the elusive bug, they accidentally pummel their own leader! Frustrated, Hitler tries to negotiate:

ADOLF HITLER:
Vait, bug, I make you a deal!

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
It’s too late, Adolf – I’m going to use my secret weapon on you for the sake of humanity!

ADOLF HITLER:
Der rightful master of der vorld – outschmarted by a bug!

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
Sez you – Adolf!

ADOLF HITLER:
No matter vot happens now – I must save myself to start another Master Race – I’ll hide in my subterranean safety vault – I‘ll use my secret elevator – no secret weapon can reach me 5 miles below the surface of the Earth! Here I am at last safe from dot Victory Bug!

But even five miles beneath Berlin, Hitler can’t escape the Secret Voice! Cosmo threatens the dictator:

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
You can’t run away from your thoughts, Adolf – and I can go anywhere thoughts can go. You might as well go back up and face the music – because I’m not going to use my secret weapon on you after all --

ADOLF HITLER:
Vot are you going to do mit me? Haff mercy, bug!

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
I’m going to give you some of your own mercy – I’m going to let the Russians in. Have you forgotten what you did to the Russians, Adolf?

ADOLF HITLER:
No, bug – no! Don’t let der Russians get me – anyding but dot! Dey’ll kill me – dey’ll torture me! Oh vy did I effer qvit der paperhanging business?

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
Looks like you tried to hang something on the world, and it wasn’t paper – You’re finished, Adolf – bombs have closed your secret shaft. You are trapped like a rat in a trap. You are doomed to die as you have caused millions of others to die.

ADOLF HITLER:
Save me bug – get me out of here and I’ll give you my empire.

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
You alone have shaped your destiny, Adolf – now I’m turning you over to the Devil!

(The concept of an invisible funny animal character – one that’s uses “brain radios” to control the course of World War II – condemning Adolf Hitler to Hell may be one of the very Oddest Oddball Comic concepts of all time, wouldn’t you agree?) Finally – still courtesy of Prof. Smart’s 4th dimensional X-ray projector – we see Cosmo The Victory Bug as he eavesdrops on a meeting of the American Atomic Research Foundation. (Geez, this funnybook just gets wilder by the panel!) He confers to its scientists a “hunch” that provides “the missing link” to their formula. As President Harry S. Truman advises Japan to “surrender at once”, we see a long shot of the planet Earth; a mushroom cloud rises from Japan:

SFX:
BOOM!

JAPANESE VOICE:
Help! We quit! Honorable atomic bomb too much!

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
Now all humanity can get on the beam!

In the final panel of this mind-blowing story, Cosmo stands at a drafting board, drawing up new plans, as he transmits a beam that’s labeled “Cosmo’s post war beam for a better world”:

COSMO THE VICTORY BUG:
Think hard for right everybody, and remember it’s HOW you think that puts you on the beam!

Hey, whatever happened to Professor Cunningham Smart and Mr. Staticwhiskers? Is this really the end of the story? Did Cosmo The Victory Bug really win WWII and send Adolf Hitler to Hell? Is this an appropriate comic book for kids? And the biggest question of all – what th’ heck was the underlying purpose of this story? I can understand publishing GREAT AMERICAN COMICS PRESENT THE SECRET VOICE as a pro-Allied piece of propaganda -- but what was the point of it appearing after WWII? (Is my brain radio turned on? Hello? Hello?)

Also included in this, the one and only issue of GREAT AMERICAN COMICS PRESENT THE SECRET VOICE are the features:

• “Hi Folks – Draw Me”, a two-page how-to-draw instructional feature (page 1, page 2) spotlighting “Little Cosmo The Victory Bug”, drawn by cartoonist Ronald Marcus.
• “Don’t Miss ‘The Post War Plan’ by Little Cosmo”, a one-page ad for “The Most Fantastic Comic Of All Time!” It reads: “Reserve your copy NOW while it is still on the presses! It’s revolutionary! It’s sensational! It’s astounding! It will give you something to dream about…something to laugh about…and plenty to think about! ‘The Post War Plan’ will prove beyond a doubt that ‘Little Cosmo’ is the great comic of tomorrow…on the presses today! It is jam packed with thrilling new ideas and includes two full pages of nifty decals in full color. Also, some blueprints for miniature models of Great Jet Planes of the future. Reserve your copy now! Use coupon below! Don’t take a chance getting yours at the news stands. They may be sold out before you get yours.” (Wow, with hard sell like this, who does this Peter George fellow think he is, anyway – Stan Lee?)
• A one-page ad for a “nifty” “Get On The Beam” badge featuring “Little Cosmo The Victory Bug”!
• An ad for the “Vacutex” device, promising it will “Remove Ugly Blackheads Or No Cost” from the “Ballco Products Company”.
• An inside-back-cover ad offering “Cash For New Cartoon Ideas”, an “unusual opportunity for boys and girls” (otherwise known as a “scam”) from Peter George Four Star Publications.
• A back-cover-ad that promises “Be An Authority On Combat Aircraft Insignia”, offering a cool “complete set of 250 fully colored Combat Insignia Stamps with 5 special albums”, featuring artwork designed and executed by cartoonists employed by the Walt Disney animation studio.

ODDBALL Factoid – To the best of my knowledge and research, this is the only item from Peter George Four Star Publication ever to see print!

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