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a sleazy version of Mr. Potato Head

not the only one

unappetizing kiss

a superhero bee

Roy ‘King Of The Cowboys’ Rogers Lamp

LIFE WITH SNARKY PARKER (1/9/1950 – 9/29/1950) was a serialized western-themed television marionette show, created by the husband-and-wife puppeteer team of Bil and Cora Baird. This early TV series for children, which starred “Snarky Parker”, the sheriff of the town of Hot Rock (a marionette who greatly resembled actor/director Richard Benjamin, at least based on this cover-photo) and his faithful horse, “Heathcliffe”, was usually broadcast four times a week during early evenings. Each episode was 15 minutes in length.

Although the inside-front-cover of this comic promises “NEXT ISSUE “SNARKY PARKER” ON SALE 2nd WEEK OF AUG.”, this was the one and only issue of LIFE WITH SNARKY PARKER.

This issue’s 15-page “Snarky Parker” cover-story is “Gold Dust”. It begins as old Paw asks Sheriff Snarky and his horse Heathcliffe to help him bring his hidden gold dust home. But when lazy Heathcliffe immediately remembers that he’s got a date down at the local feed and grain story, Snarky and Paw head out. They’re spotted by a sneaky-looking fellow named Nolan, who follows them to the old man’s cave in the nearby hills. Nolan soon reports back to his boss, Fluffy (resembling a sleazy version of Mr. Potato Head), who at the first mention of “gold”, pulls out a gun and aims it at his underling:

FLUFFY:
What’s this about GOLD, Nolan? Come clean, Nolan! Don’t hold nuttin’ back or I’ll DRILL ya!

NOLAN:
I’m tryna TELL ya, Chief! How can I t-t-talk wit you p-pointin’ dat cannon at me? I overheard a aquaintnance of yours named Snarky Parker talkin’ to another party about were some gold is HID! LOTSA gold!

FLUFFY:
Tell me MORE, Nolan! Keep talkin’, Nolan!

NOLAN:
So I follied ‘em where dey WENT! Dey got de gold hid in a CAVE up inna hills an’ I know where it’s at!

FLUFFY:
YEAH, Nolan?

NOLAN:
We c’n sneak up there after dark an GRAB it! We c’n git a truck an ---

FLUFFY:
Dat won’t be neccerary, Nolan! We ain’t in the truckin’ and haulin’ bizniz! SIDDOWN, Nolan! Pull up a chair! Ya know what we’re gonna DO? We’re gonna MINE GOLD! Only insteada usin’ a pick an shovel we’re gonna use my BRAINS? Get it?

Meanwhile, Heathcliffe tries to locate Snarky and Paw. Butterbelle, Paw’s daughter, directs Heathcliffe to ask “Gordon The Ghost”, a skinny apparition. Omnipotent Gordon not only directs Heathcliffe to Paw’s cave, but he even rides Snarky’s house out to the hills. Again, they’re followed by Nolan, who immediately reports back to Fluffy:

NOLAN:
I followed ‘em down to de old man’s house in Hot Rock! They put de GOLD in de cellar there! BAGS of the stuff, Fluffy! Nobody lives there but him and his daughter. But that Snarky Parker’s around a lot! I think he’s INTERESTED in the GIRL!

FLUFFY:
Oh, he IS, is he? Well, we’ll give him somethin’ else to be inarested in – somethin’ fer the whole town of Hot Rock to be inarested in! Then we’ll slip in and grab that GOLD!

Although she says she feels “perfectly safe”, Snarky protectively gives Butterbelle a special whistle to blow on if she’s ever needs his help:

BUTTERBELLE:
Oh, THANK YOU, Snarky! I’ll keep it on a ribbon around my neck! And if you’re ever too far AWAY to hear it, Gordon The Ghost will let you know if I need help!

Suddenly, they’re interrupted by Gargle, a newspaper reporter who’s also Hot Rock’s mayor, barber and judge. He orders Sheriff Snarky to check out Miss Birdy’s claim of sighting a flying saucer hovering above her house. While Snarky investigates, he asks Heathcliffe to tell Paw and Butterbelle to stay indoors until he’s solved the mystery. (We see that the flying saucer is merely a ruse by Nolan, who’s launching dinner dishes over Hot Rock as a distraction allowing Fluffy to steal Paw’s gold dust!) Meanwhile, Paw insists on helping Snarky deal with the invaders from space, and has Heathcliffe take him to join the sheriff. Back at their house, Butterbelle is grabbed, bound and kidnapped by Fluffy, but not before she manages to blow a signal-blast on Snarky’s whistle. Fluffy loads her into his jalopy:

FLUFFY:
You’re gonna LIKE it at the Chinchy Casino were me and my gang hang out! I’m BEGINNIN’ to take a shine to you already!

Snarky overhears Butterbelle’s whistling, so he and Paw ride Heathcliffe to rescue her. They soon find Fluffy’s ransom note, which galvanizes Gargle into action – to write a new article about the kidnapping! While Sheriff Snarky reminds Gargle of his responsibility as Hot Rock’s mayor, Nolan puts Butterbelle to work washing dishes. Suddenly, Gordon The Ghost shows up, visible only to Butterbelle, who begs him to go fetch Snarky. He instantly reappears before Snarky, Heathcliffe, Paw and Gordon:

GORDON THE GHOST:
It’s ME, GORDON! Butter is at the Chinchy Casino! It’s the same gang that was settin’ off the FLYIN’ SAUCERS! They got her WASHIN’ DISHES! I’ll go ahead and meet you there!

Heathcliffe carries everyone else out to the Chinchy Casino, but they’re spotted by Fluffy, who tries to lock Butterbelle in the casino’s vault. That’s when Gordon uses a hefty claw hammer to knock out Fluffy and Nolan. Heathcliffe’s feet are too sore to give any more rides, so everyone walks back to Hot Rock. Snarky is delighted to accompany Butterbelle:

SNARKY PARKER:
This is the first chance I’ve ever had to talk to you alone, Butterbelle.

What Snarky isn’t aware of is that he’s not the only one who’s holding Butterbelle’s hand!

Also included in this issue of LIFE WITH SNARKY PARKER, are the stories and features:

• “Peter Puppet's Strange Machine”, a two-page text-story.

• “Snarky Parker” in “Oh, You Kid-Napper!”. – Snarky and Butterbelle are river-fishing, but when Snarky goes to dig up some bait-worms, dastardly Ronald R. kidnaps the blonde marionette-gal. After leaving behind a ransom note (but forgetting to sign it), he takes her to his home and locks her in the bedroom. Meanwhile, Snarky finds the note – which demands 55 1/2 pounds of cheese -- and takes it to old Paw, who deduces that the only “rat” who would want that much cheese must be Ronald R.! With Snarky tagging along, Paw dresses up like Sherlock Holmes – and carrying a walkie-talkie and a book titled HOW TO CATCH CROOKS -- starts tracking down his daughter’s moustache-wearing kidnapper. After being chased by an angry bear, Paw takes the book’s instructions literally and “follows his nose” right into a beehive. Finally, Paw trails the tracks left by a scooter’s tires -- odd, since Butterbelle was kidnapped on foot! – directly leading to Ronald R.’s home. While helicopter-piloting Snarky rescues Butterbelle, Paw blasts Ronald R. with a shotgun. Then, after his copter carries Paw to safety, Snarky is rewarded with an unappetizing kiss from Butter! (Let’s face facts, the world will never truly be ready for osculating marionettes!) 
  

• “Pee-Wee Powerhouse” in “The Mighty Atom”. – When Mr. Frog-Face serves cute blonde Bee-Bee with a “disposin’ notice”, Pee-Wee Powerhouse, a superhero bee, hears her crying and flies to her aid. An aggressive bully, Frog-Face tries to suffocate Pee-Wee with a cloud of cigar smoke. Recovering, Pee-Wee intimidates the fat frog with his ability to lift his own weight off the ground. Then, with Bee-Bee’s mortgage as the stakes, he challenges Frog-Face to a “croaking contest”. Pee-Wee invites Frog-Face to go first, but when he bellows out a loud “Croak!”, he gets clobbered by a human’s boot, accompanied by an angry voice that yells “Quiet, down there!”

• An ad for a “Roy ‘King Of The Cowboys’ Rogers Lamp” – “sculptured from Real Life by a Famous Artist” -- “You’ll Treasure It FOREVER!”

ODDBALL Factoid – Along with HOWDY DOODY (1947 – 1960), LIFE WITH SNARKY PARKER was one of the primary influences on the “Woody’s Roundup” 1950s TV-show-within-a-movie sequence of Pixar’s 1999 TOY STORY 2!

Bonus ODDBALL Factoid – The LIFE WITH SNARKY PARKER TV series was originally directed by the famous actor Yul Brynner!

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