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a brutal, evil version of Archie Andrews

Veronica’s rarely seen bratty cousin Leroy

Archie’s increasingly-grotesque-looking criminal doppleganger

Archie meets the Punisher!

suddenly-intimidated Ms. Beazley is without a single complaint!

a cavalcade of crossovers

a roundhouse right punch delivered by the Punisher

the Punisher offers his hand to Archie

giant character-balloons

knocking off his red hairpiece (!)

“Mel Jay” rises through the skylight and into the night sky

a black-and-white photo of an all-too-familiar-looking face

“Archie Andrews” first appeared in the pages of MLJ’s PEP COMICS No. 22 (December, 1941). John L. Goldwater is officially credited with creating “America’s Typical Teenager”, but it was actually cartoonist Bob Montana and writer Vic Bloom who created the character. Red-haired “Archie” soon became so popular that his publisher re-named itself after him, and although Archie Comics has published comics of nearly every genre, it’s still Archie and his pals ‘n’ gals -- Jughead Jones, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge and Reggie Mantle -- that keeps the privately-owned comic book publisher in business.

“The Punisher”, created by writer Gerry Conway and designer John Romita, Sr., first appeared in the pages of Marvel Comics’ THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN No. 129 (February, 1974), which was written by Gerry Conway, penciled by Ross Andru, inked by Frank Giacoia and Dave Hunt, lettered by John Costanza and edited by Roy Thomas. Conceived to capture some of the allure of “The Executioner”, an extensive series of paperback pulp novels by Don Pendleton about a vigilante waging a one-man war against the Mafia. According to Batton Lash, “After his initial splash in the mid seventies, The Punisher was considered ‘yesterday's fad’ and was moribund until Frank Miller brought the character back and breathed new life into him for a memorable run in DAREDEVIL in the early 80's. That led to the character's renewed popularity, which led to his series in '86.” The Punisher eventually gained such popularity that in 1986, the controversial anti-hero was awarded his own mini-series, and eventually became the star of a trio of popular titles, THE PUNISHER (1987), PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL (1988) and THE PUNISHER: WAR ZONE (1992). Since then, the character’s popularity has waxed and waned, but he remains one of Marvel Comics’ most licensable properties. So how did these two very different characters, separated by decades, publishers and genres, come to share this 48-page Oddball one-shot?

The first inter-company crossover of characters was SUPERMAN VS. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, jointly published by DC Comics and Marvel Comics in 1976. This tabloid edition, titled “The Battle Of The Century”, was written by Gerry Conway, penciled by Ross Andru (with some elements re-drawn and touched-up by Neal Adams and John Romita, Sr., inked by Dick Giordano (assisted by background inkers Terry Austin, Joe Rubenstein and Bob Wiacek, colored by Jerry Serpe, lettered by Gaspar Saladino and edited by Roy Thomas, Julius Schwartz, Marv Wolfman and E. Nelson Bridwell. This historic publication was such a success for both companies that MARVEL TREASURY EDITION No. 28 (“Superman And Spider-Man VS. The Parasite And Dr. Doom”) and DC SPECIAL SERIES No. 27 (“Batman VS. The Incredible Hulk”) both followed in 1981 and the ponderously-titled MARVEL AND DC PRESENT THE UNCANNY X-MEN AND THE NEW TEEN TITANS No. 1 in 1982 (to which a sequel was announced but never published). Following suit, characters from independent comics began to intermingle as never before; these included Kevin Eastman’s and Peter Laird’s “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” teaming up with Dave Sim’s “Cerebus The Aardvark”, Bob Burden’s “Flaming Carrot”, Stan Sakai’s “Usagi Yojimbo” and Paul Castiglia’s and Dan Nakrosis’ “Conservation Corps” -- as well as the mainstream’s most popular teenager, Archie Andrews. (This had a lot to do with the fact that Archie Comics had entered a deal to publish a color version of TMNT based on their animated cartoon series for television.) As the 1990s began, it seemed as though every major (and more than a few minor) comic book character had met each other in a escalating number of “event” comics…so many that these “events” eventually became commonplace. Batman was especially prominent in these, meeting up with or battling Britain’s Judge Dredd, sci-fi movie stars Alien and the Predator, Grendel, Spawn, Captain America and the Punisher. Dozens, perhaps even hundreds of these gimmicky team-ups were to follow, including the inevitable DC VS. MARVEL/MARVEL VS. DC and JUSTICE LEAGUE/AVENGERS. DC and Marvel’s most unusual joint venture was the fictitious “Amalgam Comics”, which combined each company’s characters into hybrid ones, including “Dark Claw” (Batman crossed with Wolverine), “Spider-Boy” (Superboy crossed with Spider-Man), “Thorion Of The New Asgods” (the New Gods crossed with Thor) and “Challengers Of The Fantastic” (Challengers Of The Unknown crossed with the Fantastic Four), among many others. Other Oddball standouts included SAVAGE DRAGON/DESTROYER DUCK (1996), TARZAN VS. PREDATOR AT THE EARTH’S CORE (1996), THE SIMPSONS/FUTURAMA CROSSOVER CRISIS II (2005) and STAR TREK/X-MEN (1996) and its 1998 sequel. Although the crossover fad has waned a bit, there are still plenty of new entries in this genre, but none of ‘em can match 1994’s 52-page one-shot, ARCHIE MEETS THE PUNISHER, for sheer Oddball weirdness.

ARCHIE MEETS THE PUNISHER’s writer and layout artist, Batton Lash is also the creator, writer and artist of WOLFF & BYRD, COUNSELORS OF THE MACABRE, AKA SUPERNATURAL LAW. According to the “Exhibit A” website,

“Cartoonist Batton Lash was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York, where he attended James Madison High School. He went on to study cartooning and graphic arts at the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan, where his instructors included Will Eisner and Harvey Kurtzman.

“After graduating he took on various art-related jobs, including doing pasteups for an ad agency and being comic book artist Howard Chaykin’s first assistant. As a freelance illustrator, Lash did drawings for GARBAGE magazine, a children’s workbook, the book ROCK ‘N’ ROLL CONFIDENTIAL, the Murder to Go participatory theater group, a reconstructive surgery firm, and other projects. For several years he shared a studio at 225 Lafayette Street (former home of EC Comics) with such creators as comics inkers Steve Mitchell and Bob Smith, animator Russell Calabrese, designer Bill Kobz, and humorist Bill Skiff.

“In 1979 Brooklyn Paper Publications asked him to create a comic strip and Lash came up with ‘Wolff & Byrd, Counselors of the Macabre,’ which ran in The Brooklyn Paper until 1996 and in The National Law Journal from 1983 to 1997. He also did editorial cartoons for THE BROOKLYN PAPER off and on for a 12-year period, did courtroom graphics for two cases, and prepared charts for THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS advertising department for sales meetings and in-house presentations.

“In the 1980s and early 1990s Lash drew W&B stories for such publications as TSR’s POLYHEDRON, AMERICAN FANTASY, and MONSTER SCENE. Original Wolff & Byrd stories have also appeared in a number of comic books, including SATAN’S SIX, MR. MONSTER, MUNDEN’S BAR, FRANKIE’S FRIGHTMARE, CRACK-A-BOOM, THE BIG BIGFOOT BOOK and PANORAMA. Since May 1994, Wolff & Byrd have held court in their own bimonthly comic book, SUPERNATURAL LAW, from Exhibit A Press, which Lash established with his wife, Jackie Estrada.

“Lash's non-W&B work includes art for Hamilton Comics' short-lived horror line (GRAVE TALES, DREAD OF NIGHT, etc.); THE BIG BOOK OF DEATH, THE BIG BOOK OF WEIRDOS, THE BIG BOOK OF URBAN LEGENDS and THE BIG BOOK OF THUGS for Paradox Press; and AESOP’S DESECRATED FABLES for Rip Off Press. He is also co-wrote THE PENGUIN’S PUTDOWNS (a book of riddles, for Warner Books), and wrote the notorious ARCHIE MEETS THE PUNISHER, the 1994 crossover between Archie Comics and Marvel Comics. He also wrote a 4-part Archie story, “The House of Riverdale,” in the fall of 1995. Most recently, he wrote a story for the annual BART SIMPSON’S TREEHOUSE OF HORROR from Bongo Comics and drew the Foodmaker Corp. (Jack in the Box) Annual Report as a graphic story. He is currently writing ‘Radioactive Man’ for Bongo.”

Here’s Batton Lash’s exclusive, behind-the-scenes account of how ARCHIE MEETS THE PUNISHER came to be in the first place:

“I’ve known Archie Comics editor Victor Gorelick for years (he used to letter Supernatural Law, when it was a weekly newspaper strip titled Wolff & Byrd). In mid-1993, I was staying in San Diego with fiancée Jackie Estrada, preparing for my relocation to California from New York. Victor happened to be in town and contacted me. We had lunch, and, of course, shop talk dominated the conversation. It’s important to keep in mind that during this period of the comics business, crossovers between companies were pretty popular. Characters owned by competing companies were getting to meet each other. It was the type of event fans used to dream about.

“Half-joking, I suggested to Victor that he should arrange with DC Comics for Archie to meet Jimmy Olsen (and they should get Fred Hembeck to do it!). Victor dismissed the Archie-Jimmy team up (no reflection on you, Fred!), but leaned in confidentially to say that he and Tom DeFalco (Marvel’s then editor-in- chief, who had entered the field through Archie Comics) were kicking around ideas for a Archie/Marvel crossover. Victor said he and Tom laughed themselves silly when they suggested that Archie and The Punisher should meet. It was so ridiculously over-the-top, I thought it was a brilliant idea. I said to Victor, “You guys are gonna do it, right?” He gave me a look and asked how it could possibly work. Off the top of my head, I mentioned a couple of scenarios that could logically place the hard-edged Punisher in light-hearted Riverdale, as long as it was played “straight.” Victor looked at me and said, “Write it up. Create an outline and I’ll show it to Tom.” I was stunned! And Victor was dead serious--he called me a week later to follow up, to make sure an outline was forthcoming. I wasn’t lobbying for the job, nor was I looking for a gig: I was planning to start my own company, Exhibit A Press, to publish Wolff & Byrd as a comic book, so I had plenty on my plate. But Victor was a friend and he really wanted me to give it a shot. Besides, I really didn’t think Marvel would go for it. So I went in with a what-do-I- have-to-lose attitude. Before I knew it, the project got the green light! Suddenly, I had a deadline and was working with Victor and Marvel editor Don Daley, who was in charge of the various Punisher titles. I hadn't planned on it, but since the assignment fell in my lap, I'd have been foolish to pass it up!

“The Punisher was doing crossover duty twice during the summer of ’94. The Archie appearance was known as “Project A” around the Marvel offices. It was all very hush-hush . . . so much so, I didn’t learn that “Project B” was a crossover with Batman until I was almost done with my script. In fact, I found out in time to slip in a reference at the story's conclusion that The Punisher was leaving Riverdale to go to Gotham City. I was a little taken aback a few months later when I read an interview with the writer of that Batman/Punisher story: he was upset that I would have the temerity to suggest that The Punisher in the Archie story would be the same Punisher as in the Batman story. Yeessh! I wasn’t trying to step on anyone’s toes . . . I just thought it would be fun!

“And ‘Project A’ turned out to be a lot of fun. I met a lot of great people in the industry as a result of working on it and promoting it. The most gratifying thing of all is that to this day, people come up to me at conventions to say that they had expected the worst from ARCHIE MEETS THE PUNISHER but wound up enjoying it immensely. I’m very proud of that!”

(Marvel also published a separate edition of this comic, re-titled THE PUNISHER MEETS ARCHIE. Both books have identical content, but the Marvel version was bound with a die-cut cardboard cover rather than the standard glossy cover seen here.)

This issue’s four-chapter, 44-page “Archie Meets The Punisher” cover-story, “When Worlds Collide” was written and laid out by Batton Lash, penciled by John Buscema (on the Punisher), Stan Goldberg (on Archie Andrews and his pals ‘n’ gals), inked by Tom Palmer, colored by Barry Grossman, lettered by Jack Morelli and edited by Marvel Comics’ Tom DeFalco, Don Daley and Freddy Mendez and Archie Comics’ Victor Gorelick, Michael I. Silberkleit and Richard H. Goldwater. “When Worlds Collide” begins with an untitled, three-page chapter that’s primarily drawn by John Buscema and drawn in the usual dramatic and gritty style of Marvel’s PUNISHER comic. Desperately dashing past a theater -- with a marquee that boasts “Big Double Feature” (ha!) -- a mysterious figure in an overcoat flees from the Uzi-wielding Punisher. After losing his baseball cap, the red-haired mystery man loses his pursuer in New York City’s Union Station. Inside, the man -- who resembles a brutal, evil version of Archie Andrews -- makes a snap decision and purchases a train trip to a familiar funnybook town:

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Gimme a one-way ticket to RIVERDALE.

(The various posted destinations that the carrot-topped fugitive consults is a list of communities where teen super-heroes -- the Human Torch, AKA “Johnny Storm” in “Glendale” -- or super-hero sidekicks -- the Justice League Of America’s “Snapper Carr” in “Happy Harbor” -- happen to live!) “When Worlds Collide” continues with “Archie” in “Wet Works”, a two-page chapter that opens with the real Archie Andrews -- wearing his “classic” outfit of a polka-dotted bow tie, a school varsity sweater and a pair of checkered orange pants (that conveniently match his hair) -- paying a visit to the mansion-home of Veronica Lodge -- unaware that he’s directly in the crosshairs of an off-panel weapon! Fortunately, the sniper turns out to be Veronica’s rarely seen bratty cousin Leroy, and the weapon he wields is merely one of those “Super Soaker”-type water guns. But when Archie retaliates with a garden hose, Leroy goes running to Veronica for shelter:

VERONICA LODGE:
ARCHIE ANDREWS! Is this how you impress a date??

LEROY:
Cousin Ronnie! Archie’s picking on me!

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
But, Ronnie -- what about the 50’s sock hop tonight?

VERONICA LODGE:
Oh, go SOAK your head, Archie!

After getting the mansion door slammed in his face, dejected Archie walks toward his second choice for a dance-date, Betty Cooper, unaware that he’s being tailed by a car driven by two mysterious men named Binky and Buzzy (which, not coincidentally, were the names of two of DC Comics’ teenage imitations of the “Archie” strip!) The third chapter of “When Worlds Collide” features “The Punisher” in the four-page “Schtick To Your Guns!”, which is narrated by the Punisher’s pudgy partner/assistant, “Microchip”. At the run-down “Pep Comedy Club” -- with a sign in its window that reads “Hey, kids! Comics” -- the Punisher roughs up its proprietor, a fat, sweaty guy nicknamed “Pinky”, in search of his quarry, a guy going by the various aliases of “’Red’ Fever”, “Mel Jay” (as in “MLJ”?), “Montana Bob” (as in cartoonist “Bob Montana”?) and “’Freckles’ Babyface”. Pinky -- the frugal Vegas club owner who wouldn't give down-on-his-luck stand-up comedian “Flip Mason” an advance in Marvel’s NICK FURY, AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D. No. 1 (1968) -- is coerced into revealing that he’s recently been contacted by “Red”, who’s currently holed up in the town of Riverdale, where he’s trying to set up a new base of operations. Although neither the Punisher or Microchip have ever heard of the place, they take off in their armored van for Riverdale:

MICROCHIP (entry in his war journal):
…Who knows what kind of sewer Riverdale may turn out to be…?

Meanwhile, at the Lodge Mansion, Mr. Lodge introduces his daughter Veronica to a familiar-looking fellow:

HIRAM LODGE:
I’d like you to meet Melvin Jay -- the youngest rising entrepreneur in the country! Chairman of the board of Pulaski Pharmaceuticals.

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Charmed.

HIRAM LODGE:
Or should I say NEWLY acquired company. I read it was a HOSTILE TAKEOVER.

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Er…QUITE. I must say, Hiram, you have a lovely daughter. I envy my lookalike if he gets to see her often.

VERONICA LODGE:
Archie’s NOTHING to envy. And after today’s STUNT, he’s not going to see me anymore!

While “Melvin Jay” explains his plans to open a “back office” in Riverdale to Mr. Lodge -- whose Lodge Enterprises has major holdings in Pulaski Pharmaceuticals -- Veronica has a manipulative brainstorm and invites the young entrepreneur to accompany her to that evening’s “1950’s style dance” to show their red-haired guest “what a cool town Riverdale is”. Meanwhile, Leroy sneaks up on the stranger with his water gun, only to be foiled before he can squirt him:

LEROY:
This town isn’t big enough for two Archies, stranger -- say yer -- HEY!

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Beat it, punk, before I give you a WEDGIE you’ll never forget!

“Melvin Jay” accepts Veronica’s offer, despite Mr. Lodge’s concern that the young entrepreneur has too busy a schedule:

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
I DO have an agenda, HOWEVER…RIVERDALE looks like my kind of town!

The fourth and final chapter of “When Worlds Collide” is the 35-page “The Punisher In Riverdale”. It begins as the Punisher and Microchip cruise the street of Riverdale to familiarize themselves with “the lay of the land”. Passing a park, the Punisher notices a husband, wife and their two kids, a poignant reminder of “the way it could have been” for Frank Castle (nee Frank Castiglione) if he hadn’t lost in family to criminals’ gunfire. Meanwhile, Microchip ponders what his partner is thinking:

MICROCHIP (entry in his war journal):
Castle didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. I could read his mind on this one. The feds want “Red” Fever so bad, they made a DEAL with Castle to bring him in -- ALIVE. “Red” Fever’s been up ad down the ladder as a DRUGLORD. When one business crashes and burns, he’s quick to rise from the ashes and start fresh. He’s got the FEVER. Castle will play ball because he can get information out of Red about neighborhood dealers, pushers, and mobsters all along the
Eastern seaboard. THAT kind of opportunity justifies Castle lowering his standards to work for he government. Whether he’s Montana Bob, “Freckles” Babyface or CEO Melvin Jay, “Red” Fever has a reputation as a survivor. Someone will find new turf and stake his claim.

As afternoon turns into night, the Punisher and Microchip stroll past Pop Tate’s Chocklit Shoppe, unaware that, along with Pop, Archie (who’s sewing over missing out on his date with Veronica) and Jughead Jones, the two sinister men named Binky and Buzzy sit in a nearby booth, plotting:

BINKY (whispering):
Let’s move in.

BUZZY(whispering):
Yeah…He’s beginning to hook up with his associates…

BINKY:
OKAY, Red, come with us. We’re going downtown.

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
What’s this all about?

BUZZY:
Federal matter. Need him for questioning. Don’t tell anyone you saw us or we’ll have this place AUDITED.

POP TATE:
Y-YES, sir!

JUGHEAD JONES:
HEY! Wait a minute -- if you’re going that way, can you give me a LIFT HOME?

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
JUG! This is a matter of NATIONAL SECURITY!

BUZZY(whispering):
Whaddaya think, Binky? They settin’ us up?

BINKY(whispering):
Better take him, too! Don’t trust that LAID-BACK act.

BINKY:
Okay, wise-guy, c’mon, we’ll give you a RIDE.

Soon, outside the Chocklit Shoppe, the two phony federal men load Archie and Jughead into their compact car:

BUZZY:
Nice outfit, Red.

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
Thanks…it cost a fortune to rent…and the name’s ARCHIE.

BINKY:
GEEZ! Couldn’t you come up with anything better’n THAT?

Meanwhile, from hiding, the Punisher and Microchip recognize Buzzy and Binky as belong to one of “Red” Fever’s rival gangs and decide to follow them. Meanwhile, at Riverdale High School’s “1950 style sock hop” -- where we see such attendees as Sabrina The Teenage Witch and Katy Keene, as well as the band Josie And The Pussycats (composed of Josie McCoy, Valerie Brown and Melody Valentine) -- Veronica introduces “Mel Jay” to Betty Cooper and her date, Reggie Mantle, whose obnoxious behavior causes “Mel” to once again momentarily reveal the nasty side of his personality:

VERONICA LODGE:
Mel is very big in the pharmaceutical business!

REGGIE MANTLE:
Really? Let me tell you how I bought an “A” in CHEMISTRY CLASS last semester!

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Touch me again, and you’ll LOSE that arm!

REGGIE MANTLE:
SHEESH! At least when ARCHIE’S hostile, I know he doesn’t MEAN it!

BETTY COOPER:
Well, Archie was Ronnie’s date tonight! I wonder what happened to HIM?

Speaking of Archie, he and Jughead are still riding with rival mobsters Buzzy and Binky, who realize that someone’s been following their car:

BUZZY:
Binky -- we got trouble. We’re being TAILED!

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
TAILED?? What, enemy agents?

JUGHEAD JONES:
You guys can drop me off now -- I can take a BUS for the rest of the way!

BINKY:
SHADDAP, you two! BUZZY -- can you see who it is?

BUZZY:
*@/Ø?! It’s the PUNISHER!!

ARCHIE ANDREWS/ JUGHEAD JONES:
The PUNISHER!?! DUCK!!

After shooting out their windows, the Punisher and Microchip sideswipe the gangsters’ car, sending it into a spin. Archie blacks out, but when he awakens, lying on the pavement, he opens his eyes to see a man in an overcoat with a skull insignia on his chest looming over him with an Uzi pointed at his head! Meanwhile, at the dance, Mr. Weatherbee asks Mr. Svenson the custodian to unlock the gym’s back door for the caterers. Then, in a reference to another old “Archie” teen character named “Bingo Wilkin”, the principal scolds “that Wilkin boy” for “necking”. One of Josie And The Pussycats’ roadies, an English bloke name Scooter (again, a reference to a “mod” DC teen character from England) recognizes “Mel Jay” and plans to cash in on that fact:

SCOOTER (thinking):
INCREDIBLE! I know that bloke -- more importantly, I know some people looking for him who’ll pay a nice fat FINDER’S FEE!

Meanwhile, Archie’s increasingly-grotesque-looking criminal doppleganger starts making advances toward Veronica, asking her to show him “a more intimate part of town”, but she rebuffs him:

VERONICA LODGE:
I can show you more of the town later -- or TOMORROW, even! We can even do BRUNCH! I just want to say hello to my friends, okay?

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Ronnie -- RONNIE! You don’t want to see them -- why, you called them RIFF-RAFF! I’ll let you in on a little secret…I’m going to OWN this town before you know it. Get in on the ground floor with me…

VERONICA LODGE:
Would you settle for the DANCE FLOOR!?

After Betty uses the pay phone to call Archie’s house, to make sure he’s okay, Scooter phones someone named Ernie to report sighting “Red” Fever. Meanwhile, elsewhere in Riverdale, it’s title-time, as in a tense one-page sequence, Archie meets the Punisher!

ARCHIE ANDREWS (thinking):
What have I done to deserve THIS?!

As the Punisher realizes that this red-haired teenager isn’t the quarry he’s after, he senses an ambush and points his Uzi away from Archie. Taking advantage of the distraction, Archie makes his getaway, discovering that Jughead -- who’s hiding in a culvert pipe -- threw a rock to divert the Punisher’s attention. While they escape through the pipe, Buzzy and Binky take off in their still-drivable car. The Punisher joins Microchip and informs his cyber-geeky assistant that Archie wasn’t his target after all, so they resume their pursuit of Buzzy and Binky, Later, at the Riverdale Police Station, Archie and Jughead attempt to file a report, but the desk sergeant -- reflecting on the many times that Archie has unintentionally wasted the time of the local lawmen -- can’t bring himself to take Archie’s claim of encountering the Punisher seriously. But when Officer Pansky -- a character based on Scott Panksy, Archie Comics’ public relations man at the time -- threatens to call Archie’s parents, Archie’s worried reaction that it will put his folks in danger is enough to convince the desk sergeant to ask Officer Burland -- a nod to “Kip Burland”, the lawman alter ego of MLJ/Årchie Comics’ superhero the Black Hood -- to help the two teenagers. Meanwhile, a number of hired guns -- Ernie, Willie, Algie and Andy, all named after rival comic book publishers’ versions of “Archie” -- convene in Buzzy and Binky’s smoke-filled car, unaware that the Punisher and Microchip are using high-tech surveillance equipment to eavesdrop on their scheme-session. Acting on Scooter’s tip, they plan to ambush “Red” Fever at Riverdale High’s sock hop, then dump his body to get the Punisher off their backs. And after the vigilante returns to New York City, they can set up shop in Riverdale! But before they can act to stop the assembled hitmen, their van is rousted by two police patrolmen, acting in response to an irritated call from off-duty Riverdale High cafeteria lady, Ms. Beazley! But when she witnesses the Punisher effortlessly -- and bloodlessly -- as he takes care of the local police, suddenly-intimidated Ms. Beazley is without a single complaint! As the Punisher and Microchip’s van rolls with Riverdale High School as their destination, Archie and Jughead find themselves unintentionally one step ahead of them, having been dropped off at the dance by well-meaning Officer Burland. Archie’s so frazzled from what he’s already been through that night that he practically jumps out of his skin when Reggie taps him on the shoulder. Betty’s delighted to see Archie, but he’s so fed up with the way he’s been treated, he’s not acting like himself:

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
I’m warning you both -- I’m dangerous to be around!

REGGIE MANTLE:
Who are you -- JAMES DEAN?

BETTY COOPER:
Oh, Archie, if you’re going to do “Rebel Without A Cause,”
at least dress the part!

REGGIE MANTLE:
Attitude, Andrews! Take it from me -- ARROGANCE goes a long way!

BETTY COOPER:
Aw, I know your ego is bruised because Ronnie brought another date to the dance. You need a little sympathy…

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
Will someone PLEASE listen to -- me?

BETTY COOPER:
You don’t have to put on an act for us, Archie. Ronnie’s date may look like you -- but you’re CUTER!

REGGIE MANTLE:
And he’s RICHER!

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
Wait a minute…Ronnie’s with some who looks like ME? JUG -- are YOU thinking what I’M thinking?

JUGHEAD JONES:
Yes! We’ve got to warn that guy in case the PUNISHER goes after HIM thinking he’s YOU! Er…let me try that again…How about -- The Punisher has mistaken YOU for HIM!

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
You got it, pal!

BETTY COOPER:
The Punisher? Doesn’t MOOSE talk about him all the time?

REGGIE MANTLE:
I’M outta here!

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
OH, no you’re not! We’ve got to warn Veronica! Everyone in the building may be in danger!

While Archie and Jughead drag Reggie into the gym, accompanied by Betty, the Punisher stealthily penetrates Riverdale High, roaming through its classrooms and hallways, pausing to thoughtfully examine a “BC & AA” scrawled within a heart on Betty Cooper’s locker and a poster that reads, “It’s Up To You To Keep Riverdale Clean!” Meanwhile, back at the dance, in a cavalcade of crossovers, Marvel’s Millie The Model trades fashion tips with Katy Keene, and Marvel’s Patsy Walker and Hedy Wolfe hang out with Sabrina (The Teenage Witch) Spellman while crooner Dino Manelli (from Marvel’s SGT. FURY AND HIS HOWLING COMMANDOS) sings a song, with Josie And The Pussycats accompanying him! In the middle of all of this, “Mel Jay” tries once again to force himself on Veronica, but is interrupted by none other than Mr. Weatherbee:

VERONICA LODGE:
You may LOOK like someone I know, but you’re getting too FAMILIAR with ME!

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Can’t help it, darlin’ --

MR. WEATHERBEE:
Hmph! You’re a little too COZY there, Andrews!

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
BLOW, GASBAG!

MR. WEATHERBEE:
ANDREWS!!

VERONICA LODGE:
What’s got into you?? Mr. Weatherbee! It’s not what -- or WHO -- you think!!

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Babe, I’ll show you how to PARTY!!

Regaining his composure a bit, Mr. Weatherbee asserts his authority by checking on the caterer’s progress, unaware that the team of hired thugs who are out to bump off “Mel Jay” has secretly replaced them. But while Dino Manelli belts out a tune dedicated to the memory of his old army buddy Junior Juniper, the Punisher (his costume hidden by a sweat suit) quietly enters the gym. Fortunately for him, science teacher Professor Flutesnoot mistakes him for someone else (hey, what’s one more mistaken identity in this story?):

PROFESSOR FLUTESNOOT:
Flutesnoot, here! You must be the new phys ed teacher Coach Kleats hired! He said you’d be here!

THE PUNISHER:
Just putting in my time chaperoning.

PROFESSOR FLUTESNOOT:
Good! Team spirit! I recognize you from the Coach’s description -- he spoke very highly of you! Oh, Miss Grundy -- I want you to meet a new member of the faculty, Mr. er…

THE PUNISHER:
Castiglione. But you can call me FRANK.

MISS GRUNDY:
Well, I’m going to love YOU here -- I mean, YOU’RE going to love it here!

THE PUNISHER:
I already do. Excuse me. I have to keep an eye on things.

MISS GRUNDY:
YOWSA!

PROFESSOR FLUTESNOOT:
Oh, Grundy! Get a grip on yourself!

Fortunately for him, the Punisher manages to slip away just before Coach Kleats shows up with the real new coach, an out-of-shape stumblebum. Meanwhile, while wrestling with Veronica, “Mel Jay” suddenly notices the Punisher…and pulls out a gun while forcing Ronnie toward the door! Meanwhile, with the help of Dilton Doiley, Archie spots Veronica and his lookalike -- as well as the Punisher! When Archie goes to the gym’s pay phone to call the police, Algie, one of the disguised hit men, is about to plug him, but is stopped by a roundhouse right punch delivered by the Punisher! Suddenly, all hell breaks loose as the phony caterers pull out guns and start firing at the Punisher, who’d be instant Swiss cheese if it weren’t for the Kevlar body armor under his sweat suit. Meanwhile, Microchip gets the drop on “Mel” before he can exit the gym with Veronica, but he’s slugged by Moose Mason, who mistakes the red-haired criminal for Archie! On the other side of the gym, Archie accidentally disarms the last of the hitmen, but when Coach Kleats distracts the Punisher by trying to tackle him, the killer turns the tables and holds a knife to Archie’s throat. But when he sees that his captive isn’t “Mel Jay”, the phony caterer falters, allowing the Punisher to take him out by hurling a cream cake into his face. With the bad guy subdued, the Punisher offers his hand to Archie:

THE PUNISHER:
I’m not going to HURT you.

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
Best news I’ve heard all day! You’re looking for my DOUBLE, aren’t you?

THE PUNISHER:
CORRECT. And more importantly…I’m here to see no HARM comes to Riverdale.

Later that night, the Riverdale police department is practically inundated by panicked citizens (including Archie’s parents Fred and Mary), the faculty of Riverdale High and even Mr. Lodge, all demanding that the Punisher, the hitmen and the man who’s taken Veronica hostage all be locked up. And across town, at Pop’s Chocklit Shoppe, while the Punisher and Microchip reconnoiter, Archie begins to make mental entries in his own “war journal”:

ARCHIE ANDREWS (entry in his war journal):
ARCHIE’S WAR JOURNAL 00001: Yeah -- it’s gonna be a long night…Ordered a chocklit shake from Pop. Had a full evening -- the shake went down good. Real good.

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
FRANK! How about a strawberry frappe? MY TREAT!

ARCHIE ANDREWS (entry in his war journal):
He gave me a look that said he wasn’t here for the DRINKS. Just as well. Ran tab to the max earlier this week. After incident at the dance, was briefed on quarry. My hunch was correct -- he has my dangerous good looks. Now, that killer smile we share has put Veronica in danger. Castle wisely decides to join forces with me.

MICROCHIP:
Frank -- what are we doing baby-sitting? Andrews is bad enough -- but his friends, too?

THE PUNISHER:
I want to keep my eye on him, Micro -- he’d cause more trouble for us if we left him to his own devices. As for his pals -- even I have my LAPSES.

ARCHIE ANDREWS (entry in his war journal):
Found out Castle’s not working with the Feds. Uncle Sam got Riverdale P.D. to play ball. Castle needed base of operations to plan strategy -- away from the usual police bureaucracy. I relate. Had my own run-in with the cops earlier. I suggested Pops. Castle confers on his next move with his right-hand ma. I have to WAIT until MINE finishes eating.

JUGHEAD JONES:
‘Nother burger, Pop! Never did get a chance to eat tonight!

ARCHIE ANDREWS (entry in his war journal):
The criminal element has infected my town. Ronnie’s been kidnapped…

BETTY COOPER (from off-panel):
Archie?

ARCHIE ANDREWS (entry in his war journal):
It’s payback time. The war never ends. One on one. It’s clobberin’ time. It --

BETTY COOPER (from off-panel):
ARCHIE!

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
Huh?

Interrupting Archie’s dark thoughts, Betty explains that they’ve received a taped demand from “Mel Jay”:

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE (taped message):
One million dollars, Lodge! And if you think I’m kidding -- here’s your little princess to tell you I’m dead serious!

VERONICA LODGE (taped message):
Oh, Daddy! He rained on my parade! Listen to him! He’s not full of HOT AIR! He means it! He --

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE) (taped message):
That’s all for now, Lodge. Have that money ready by the time I call again. >Klick<

Between Archie and Betty, they realize that Veronica’s recorded message contains a crucial clue to their whereabouts. But before they can explain their theory, the Punisher receives a mysterious phone call. Meanwhile, in a threadbare warehouse, “Mel Jay” is in a particularly foul mood, and since Veronica has somehow escaped his clutches and is hiding somewhere in the building, he searches for her in the dark:

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
It’s gonna be a long night, darlin’ -- the longer I have to LOOK for you, the ANGRIER I’m gonna get! This is what I get for being a NICE GUY, eh, babydoll? I don’t tie you up -- and the first chance you get you book out on me! DUMB, sweetheart! REAL dumb! I know you’re in here SOMEWHERE! Make it easy on yourself, Veronica! I hear you breathing, cupcake! And I just found the LIGHT! Let’s go, honey -- NO ONE’S gonna rescue -- YOUUU!

But when “Mel Jay” flips on the warehouse lights, he’s shocked to discover that he’s surrounded by giant character-balloons, the sort that are used in parades! (These are in the familiar images of Jughead’s faithful pet, Hot Dog, Spider-Man, Sonic The Hedgehog and the Shield (comic books’ very first patriotic-themed superhero). Quickly recovering from the shock, “Mel” grabs Veronica and threatens her with his pistol -- but is suddenly interrupted:

THE PUNISHER:
IT’S OVER, MELVIN -- or “Red” or whatever your name is today. Let the girl GO.

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
NO WAY! Not unless you’re Hiram Lodge’s COURIER! You don’t scare me, Punisher! I’m TOO VALUABLE to shoot!

THE PUNISHER:
WRONG, “Red”! I got a call from the FEDS -- Guess who was at the dance tonight, working with the band? A low-life named SCOOTER. The shoot-out scared him. Turned himself in. He’s ready to SING. He knew everybody, and was loyal to nobody. Knows where all the bodies are buried. And Scooter’s willing to give the feds ANYTHING as long as they cut a deal. So you’re NOT our most valuable player anymore. You’re EXPENDABLE!

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
YOU’E LYING!!

But when, over Microchip’s protests, Archie, Betty and Jughead come rushing into the warehouse, the Punisher is distracted, allowing “Mel Jay” to fire his pistol at the intruders. While Archie dives into a nearby cart, and Veronica kicks her captor in the knee, the Punisher’s shot ricochets around the room, ultimately puncturing the Hot Dog balloon -- which deflates and collapses right onto the Punisher! Meanwhile, Archie’s cart rolls into the fleeing “Mel” -- knocking off his red hairpiece (!) and slamming him into the controls for the room’s skylight! Archie’s bald lookalike is so angry, he doesn’t notice that a rope loop suspended from the Shield balloon has wrapped itself around his ankle while he rants:

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
I don’t know who’s more DANGEROUS -- the Punisher or these crazy teen-agers! Doesn’t matter -- they are at the end of their -- ROOULLP!

And with that, hairless “Mel Jay” (or whatever his actual name is) finds himself dragged into the sky, suspended from the ever-rising Shield balloon:

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
HELP! HELP! I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!

JUGHEAD JONES:
I heard of putting on AIRS, but, SHEESH!

As “Mel Jay” rises through the skylight and into the night sky, fading from sight, the Punisher mentally makes an entry in his war journal:

THE PUNISHER (entry in his war journal):
WAR JOURNAL ENTRY 06794: CONCLUSION: Let quarry slip away. First time for everything, I suppose.

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Whattaya waitin’ for?

THE PUNISHER (entry in his war journal):
I did promise Uncle Sam I’d let quarry live. They want him, they can get him. I can hear the choppers now.

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Punisher! Do something!

THE PUNISHER (entry in his war journal):
And if quarry escapes? What can he do? His empire is ruined, the other mobs are after him, and best of all --

“RED” FEVER (AKA “MELVIN JAY”, “MONTANA BOB”, FRECKLES” BABYFACE):
Can’t breathe -- PIGEONS!! I hate pigeons!

THE PUNISHER (entry in his war journal):
-- He’ll live in FEAR of ME! Psychological warfare? For THIS tine, why not? Everything ELSE about this case as unprecedented in my WAR JOURNAL.

Then, as Archie asks the Punisher what’s next, this story’s narration switches once again:

BETTY COOPER (entry in her diary):
Betty’s Diary: 617 There was never anything like it in the history of Riverdale, the day the Punisher came to town…Just about the whole town stayed up all night to see if Ronnie was okay and catch a glimpse of Frank (he told me to call him Frank!) We all celebrated with an early morning breakfast at Pops…That’s the funny thing…I got the feeling Frank didn’t really want to leave. My dad says Frank’s a psychopath, Okay, maybe he is a tad hostile…

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
You give me a SIGNAL WATCH, see --?

BETTY COOPER (entry in her diary):
…But if the Punisher’s the bad guy people say he is, he’d never have put up with Archie all night!

ARCHIE ANDREWS:
That way, I can call you whenever there’s trouble!

THE PUNISHER:
I don’t think so. It’s been REAL, Arch, but now I’ve got a very special lady to thank…

(Of course, that “signal watch” that Archie mentions is a reference to Jimmy Olsen’s special wristwatch that summons Superman with it’s ultrasonic “zee…zee…zee..” sound!) Both Veronica and Betty look like they think the Punisher’s referring to each of them, but instead, he’s talking about -- Miss Grundy!

THE PUNISHER:
Your WARNING saved my life last night.

MISS GRUNDY:
NO PROBLEM, as the kids would say! Here -- I wanted you to have THIS, something to remember Riverdale by.

With that, the crusty old teacher tenderly hands the Punisher his very own Riverdale High varsity sweater! In gratitude, the man formerly known as Frank Castiglione gives the delighted Miss Grundy a kiss lightly on her forehead.

THE PUNISHER:
Thank you -- but I doubt I’ll ever FORGET.

Meanwhile, Jughead and Microchip find their common ground, too:

JUGHEAD JONES:
You guys have a long way to go -- take it from me, you can never have enough BURGERS along for the trip!

MICROCHIP:
Juggie -- I LIKE the way you think!

As the Punisher -- now wearing his gift from Miss Grundy -- climbs into the passenger seat of their van, his partner-in-anti-crime gives him an instant fashion critique:

MICROCHIP:
Frank, it’s YOU!

THE PUNISHER:
Got a problem with it, Micro?

MICROCHIP:
ME? Nah! Buckle up -- we’re on our way to a real FEEL GOOD town -- next stop, GOTHAM CITY!

And as Archie and his pals ‘n gals settle back into their normal lives, Betty makes a final entry in her diary:

BETTY COOPER (entry in her diary):
-- But when I think of all the circumstances that brought Frank to Riverdale -- ! It was either the most incredible coincidence in history, or maybe, just maybe…it really is a SMALL WORLD!

But this story’s not quite yet over, as a person with long metal claws extending from the backs of his hands examines a black-and-white photo of an all-too-familiar-looking face:

WOLVERINE:
THIS is who I’m supposed to be afraid of? CEREBRO says you’re the most dangerous MUTANT alive. If THAT’S the case -- I’m gonna have to find out what you’re made of, bub!

SFX:
SNIKT

END-CAPTION:
The end? YOU tell US!

Also included in this issue of ARCHIE MEETS THE PUNISHER are the following stories, features and advertisements:

• “Archie’s Super Savers” an inside-front-cover house-ad for subscriptions to various Archie Comics titles.

• A title page for THE PUNISHER/ARCHIE “When Worlds Collide”. (Please note the discrepancy between this title and the actual title of this comic, due to separate versions published by Archie and Marvel.)

• “Introduction: Archie Meets The Punisher”, written by Archie Comics’ Managing Editor Victor Gorelick.

• “Introduction: The Punisher Meets Archie”, written by Marvel Comics’ editor-in-chief Tom DeFalco and illustrated by Rick Parker.

• An untitled one-page feature with short profiles of the Punisher (“When Frank Castle witnessed the death of his family at the hands of the criminal syndicate, he vowed that innocent people would never again suffer his wife’s and children’s fates. Using his lethal training as a Marine, Castle wages a private war against those who would break the law…letting the punishment fit the crime. Enter the world of the Punisher.”) and Archie Andrews (“Archie has often been described as the typical American teenager: always asking too many questions, always getting into trouble, intensely loyal to his parents, his school and his community, which in Archie’s case is Riverdale, U.S.A. Archie’s plight in matters of the heart is adolescently stark. He’s torn between two opposing love interests: Betty, ‘the girl next door’, and Veronica, a spoiled daughter of affluence. Enter Riverdale, the world of Archie Andrews.”), illustrated by John Buscema and Stan Goldberg, respectively.

• “Multi-Title Sale!”, an inside-back-cover house-ad for subscriptions to various Marvel Comics titles.

• An untitled back-cover pin-up of Archie Andrews (drawn by Stan Goldberg) and the unsettling Archie/Punisher emblem.

ODDBALL FACTOID – Cartoonist Stan Goldberg was also the colorist who initially established the colors of the costumes of such Silver Age Marvel superheroes as the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, the Hulk, Thor, Iron Man and Ant Man!

ODDBALL COMIC #1,188 – MONDAY, AUGUST 27, 2007 – Here’s an ODDBALL humor anthology, the like of which have never been seen before or since! COMIC LAND stars “Sandusky And The Senator”, two obscure characters who’ve apparently drawn this funnybook’s cover all by themselves! Meet “Dilly Dally”, “Marvin The Great”, “Sir Passer”, “Punny Bunny”, “Phineas Gruff”, “Tumbleweeds”, “Pop Flys”, “Danny The Dude” and “Sam Stupor, Sleuth!” Plus, the secret to becoming a top Hollywood animation producer is revealed! (Shhh, don’t tell, but it’s the portable “Technicolor Comicscope”!)

For more from cartoonist Batton Lash, please visit his website at http://www.exhibitapress.com/

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