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a wacky-looking "pontoon ‘bike-copter"

"Stretching Things"

a newly arrived fortune-teller

An activity page

"the beating of his life"

a wacky-looking seal

an ad

Before there was HOWDY DOODY, CAPTAIN KANGAROO and SESAME STREET, there was THE MERRY MAILMAN. He was the star of a local kids’ TV show that debuted on New York City’s WOR, Channel 9, on Monday, October 16, 1950. The 15-minute show’s host was a character created and played by amiable actor Ray Heatherton, a talented and experienced singer and performer. At first, the Merry Mailman was merely the costumed host of the show, introducing Terrytoons animated cartoon shorts. Eventually, Channel 9 brought in television director Sandford "Sandy" Howard to overhaul the show’s rather mundane format. The new, hour-long version of THE MERRY MAILMAN was a full-blown comedy-variety show, complete with a live audience. The reinvented show – in which Heatherton presided over "Merry Mail Land" -- also included segments featuring songs, stories, games, activities, safety tips and the "Puppethouse Stand" puppet skits, performed by the otherwise on-screen personalities Milt Moss ("Mr. Pennywhistle", "Don José" and "The Happy Garbage Man") and Chic Darrow ("The Topsy-Turvy Auctioneer"). In character, Ray Heatherton made frequent appearances in live stage shows and at children’s hospitals in the New York, New Jersey and Connecticut areas. There was even a MERRY MAILMAN radio show and numerous licensed toys, records, books and other products, including this extremely scarce Charlton funnybook. Unfortunately, when Heatherton was wrongly accused of being a Communist sympathizer by a phony supermarket chain owner, a follower of Red-baiting senator Joseph McCarthy, the show’s reception by the public was irrevocably besmirched. But although the show began to lose both viewers and sponsors, the station’s general manager, WOR’s Tom O'Neil demonstrated his belief in Ray Heatherton, and kept the show on the air until Friday, June 22, 1956. Heatherton would soon return as "The Merry Mailman" on WOR. Channel .9’s CARTOON PARADE and as himself on the channel’s THE RAY HEATHERTON THEATER. He also appeared as the sea captain host of WPIX, Channel 11’s POPEYE SHOW. His signature character reappeared for a final time in 1961 on THE MERRY MAILMAN’S FUNHOUSE! which had a two-year run on WPIX. Following an ongoing career in live and broadcast entertainment, Ray Heatherton died on August 15, 1997.

FAWCETT’S FUNNY ANIMALS began publication in December, 1942 and starred Captain Marvel Bunny" a "funny animal" superhero cloned from the original Big Red Cheese. With its 80th issue, the series shortened its title to FUNNY ANIMALS and with its 83rd issue (December, 1953), Fawcett ceased publication entirely. But Derby, Connecticut’s Charlton Comics soon picked up the title in April, 1953, combining newly-produced material of their own with unused stories from Fawcett’s "slush pile" of already-completed editorial content. The final issue of FUNNY ANIMALS, No. 91, was cover-dated February, 1956. It’s believed that -- since Charlton often used bizarre numbering sequences in labeling their comics – LI’L TOMBOY was the continuation of this series with issue No. 92. This was the only issue of FUNNY ANIMALS to feature THE MERRY MAILMAN, and included – just as its cover boasts – a variety of "adventures, cartoons, puzzles and coloring pages" that parallels the content of THE MERRY MAILMAN television series.

Included in this issue of THE MERRY MAILMAN are these stories, features and advertisements:

• "Do You Want Up To $50.00 Or $100.00 Extra Money?", a black-and-white, inside-front-cover ad soliciting for young door-to-door salespeople to sell "beautiful super size religious wall mottoes" for "The FUNman".
  
  
• "The Merry Mailman!" in "Registered Male", drawn by "Ottenheimer". – As the Merry Mailman approaches Wheezer’s little cottage, he can’t help but notice the signs that surround it. They read, "No Admittance", "Quiet", "Top Secret", "Genius At Work", "Keep Out" and "No Spies Allowed". All the same, the Merry Mailman has to do his job – he’s there on "official business"! The first time he knocks on the front door, Wheezer tells him to "go away". But when the Merry Mailman informs him that he’s there on "official business", the little guy opens the door, only to slam it shut when he learns that the postal carrier is bringing him a registered letter! He changes his mind, however, when the Merry Mailman tells him that he can’t leave the letter without Wheezer signing for it, so he’ll have to come down to the post office to claim it. This finally brings Wheezer out of hiding, explaining that he’s been too busy working on his new "super invention" to answer the door. He plans to enter it in the big contest – which he saw advertised in a national magazine -- but he has to finish the contraption and get it to the local courthouse by three o’clock in the afternoon. When the Merry Mailman asks exactly what his invention is, Wheezer agrees to show him, since the contest is sponsored by the National Government’s Patent Office, and the Merry Mailman is a "government man" too! Inside Wheezer’s cottage, The Merry Mailman is impressed with the little inventor’s creation – a wacky-looking "pontoon ‘bike-copter" complete with feathery wings (!), but he’s still determined to get Wheezer to sign for his registered letter. (In passing, he explains that "with this gadget, paratroopers can do their jobs and then fly back up to their airplanes!") The little guy agrees to sign it, but only after the Merry Mailman helps him get his invention to the courthouse. Since he’s got a pilot’s license, the Merry Mailman hops onto the bizarre vehicle, and soon, he and Wheezer are flying through the air, above the heavy traffic. But when the glue holding on the gadget’s wings starts to let go, the feathered propellants fall off and they plunge into the ocean below. Despite (or possibly, because) Wheezer outfitted his device with pontoons made out of "surplus submarine torpedoes", the Merry Mailman and Wheezer get soaked. Then, after Wheezer removes the defective pontoons, converting his invention into a "two wheel motor bike", they crash into a tree due to the fact that Wheezer insists on riding on the handle bars, blocking the Merry Mailman’s view. The impact knocks off the front wheel, but this doesn’t deter the Merry Mailman, he operates the remains of the gizmo as a unicycle. And when he realizes that it won’t be able to ascend the steps leading up to the courthouse, he makes a final customization – into a pogo stick! Finally, they arrive at the office of "Patents And Inventions" with only a minute to spare. They ride Wheezer’s nutty creation right into the office, but the clerk on duty regrets to tell them that they’re "exactly twelve months too late – that’s last year’s magazine"! To add irony to injury, the clerk explains that he tried to save Wheezer the trouble of building his "pontoon ‘bike-copter" by sending back his registration form – via registered mail. Yup, it’s the same registered mail that the Merry Mailman’s been trying to get Wheezer to sigh! Wheezer admits he’s learned his lesson – after tossing the remains of his invention into the nearest trashcan.
  
  
• "The Merry Mailman Presents Legends Of Paul Bunyan", drawn by "Harmon". – This story occurs within the framework of a grandfather telling his grandson about the legendary lumberjack while on a fishing trip. (This makes it rather obvious that "The Merry Mailman Presents" has been tacked on by FUNNY ANIMALS’ new publisher.) Tired of having to resort to taking their baths in the ocean, gigantic Paul Bunyan and his blue ox, Babe, decide to create their own bath tub. First, they dig a huge hole, the displaced earth from which forms an entire mountain range. Then, Paul and Babe hike up to the North Pole, where they find an icy glacier. Together, they dislodge the frozen formation and push it into the ocean. Babe dives into the water and swims south, using his horns to push the floating glacier, upon which Paul rides. Arriving back home in the North Woods, Paul uses his mighty ax to chop the glacier up into smaller chunks. The largest of these perfectly fills his new "bath tub", but what’s he going to do with the leftover ice-chunks? When the sun melts them, they’ll flood the land. As Grandpa relates, "—So he got busy an’ dug four more big holes to put the rest of the ice in – an’ some folks say that’s how come there to be five Great Lakes!"
  
  
• "Merry Mailman’s Coloring Page", drawn by "Ottenheimer".
  
  
• "The Merry Mailman" in "Stretching Things", drawn by "Ottenheimer". – The Merry Mailman is understandably dubious when Lord Twinkletoes tells him that he invented the elephant and the giraffe. The daffy old blowhard swears he’s telling the truth, then goes on to attempt to prove what he says. While on an expedition to Africa to capture hippos and wild horses for zoos and circuses, Lord Twinkletoes contracted a case of "jungle fever" (no, not the Spike Lee kind!) While he was sick, he was unable to deal with the critters he’d already captured. Snared around its nose, the hippo pulled at the restraint until he stretched his poor proboscis to over twelve feet long. The local natives named this freak "el-e-phant" -- meaning "long nose". And one of his wild horses had a similar accident, stretching its neck over ten feet. The local natives named this critter "gee-raff" -- meaning "dig that crazy neck"! When the Merry Mailman remains skeptical, Lord Twinkletoes insists he has final proof of his claims. He leads the Merry Mailman – and Wheezer, who’s joined them – into his back yard, where he shows them a neighborhood dog who’s become snared in one of Lord Twinkletoes’ squirrel traps. The poor pooch’s body has been stretched to double its length! Telling the old whacko that he’s finally convinced, the Merry Mailman continues on his route. Once out of earshot, he confides in Wheezer that he didn’t have the heart to point out that the elongated dog was merely a dachshund -- even if taking credit for creating the elephant and the giraffe was stretching things a bit too far!
  
  
• "Merry Mailman’s Coloring Page", combining drawings by Chad Grothkoph and "Ottenheimer".
  
  
• "Backward Land", a two-page text-story, part of which is written in "backwards code".
  
  
• A publisher’s circulation statement for FUNNY ANIMALS.
  
  
• "The Merry Mailman Presents Billy The Kid And Oscar" in "Billy The Kid Crystalizes His Punch". – One day, in the western town of Dry Gulch – which is populated by all species of funny animals – the townsfolk rush to meet a newly arrived fortune-teller. The crowd – which includes skeptical Billy The Kid, a cowboy who’s a goat – receives a free demonstration of the leonine swami’s power to read the future with a crystal ball. He makes a prediction that Dry Gulch’s town hall "will go up in flames" during a big meeting of the citizenry on the next night. This dire news scares off most of the townspeople, but Billy isn’t intimidated. The night of the meeting, Billy’s the only one to show up at the town hall. Mysteriously, the building begins to burn; fortunately, with the aid of his horse, Paint, Billy is able to escape before he permanently singes his whiskers. The next morning, the swami makes another prediction: the Dry Gulch Bank will be robbed that night. He advises the townsfolk to withdraw their money and take it home for safekeeping. Billy suspects that this is a trick, so he spends the evening guarding the citizens’ homes. But the next morning it’s discovered that, indeed, the bank has been robbed! The grateful animal-people (except Bill) thanks the swami for his warning. He issues a final warning that the robbers are going to try to steal the money they’ve kept at home, then advises the rapt crowd to "take all your money to the cemetery and bury it there! The crooks will never find it there. But you must stay at home to make them think you’re watching your money!" They eagerly comply, but the next morning, they find that their money is gone…and when they go to consult the swami, they discover that he’s gone, too! Using "the most intelligent brain in the West", Billy places a classified advertisement in the newspaper: "Rich widow, with no business experience, has fortune to invest in good proposition. Address…10 Upping St." The swami takes notice of the ad, and instructs his sidekick, Lucky (a rat) to bring the widow to him. Lucky takes the old gal (actually Billy in disguise) to the nearby hills, where he claims that they’ve discovered gold (as in "thar’s gold in them thar hills".) When the phony swami asks "her" for her money, Billy whips off his disguise and whips out his pistols, getting the drop on the crooked swami and his rodent sidekick. Then, Billy delivers a staggering right punch to the swami’s jaw, declaring, "You’re coming back with me to Dry Gulch to give back the money you stole! Then you’re going to sit in jail! Maybe your crystal ball will tell you when you’re going to get out!"
  
  
• An activity page composed of two features to color: "Willie’s Song" and three -- nursery rhyme puzzles, all drawn by Chad ("Marvel Bunny") Grothkoph.
  
  
• "The Merry Mailman Presents Battling Bantam" in "The Fighting Fool". – Mac Mule introduces Battling Bantam to his nerdy nephew, Percival, hoping that the little "creampuff" will prove to be a good influence on the roughneck rooster. Immediately annoyed by the bespectacled young sissy, B. B. decides to make his new "friend" so miserable that he’ll leave the farm. First, B. B. musses up Percival’s Richie Rich-style hairdo. Next, B. B. rips Percival’s book of Shakespeare’s classics. This gets Percival so angry that he removes his jacket and glasses and really tears into his feathered tormentor. The resulting cries of pain alert Mac Mule, who races to the rescue, assuming his nephew is in trouble. Instead, he arrives only to discover that Percival is giving Battling Bantam "the beating of his life"! The bruised and battered bantam learns a valuable lesson from Percival: "Don’t think that just because a person knows how to behave properly, he doesn’t know how to defend himself!"
  
  
• "The Merry Mailman" in "The Royal Seal", drawn by "Ottenheimer". – Wheezer pays a visit to the Merry Mailman, who’s perusing his stamp collection, explaining that "I’m interested in everything about delivering mail – isn’t everybody?" At Wheezer’s insistence, the Merry Mailman delivers an impromptu lecture on the origin of postage stamps: "Probably started with the royal seal on the sealing wax used in the old days, to glue down envelope flaps! Some seals are still used, especially on important government papers. And most kings still use them. Some kings had them made into rings or pendants to be carried around at all times. A thief could make terrible use of a royal seal, which is jus as good as the royal signature!" Suddenly, they’re interrupted by a phone call; it’s King Orlando, coincidentally claiming that his royal seal is missing! But before the Merry Mailman can call "the FBI, the navy, the marines and the U.S. Post Office", he gets a second call, this time from a government bigwig in Washington D.C. The official tells the Merry Mailman that he’s just received the news about King Orlando’s missing seal. It could escalate into an "international incident"! Therefore, he’d like the Merry Mailman to handle things until the FBI arrives. Before long, the Merry Mailman and Wheezer arrive at King Orlando’s castle. The King tells them that the last time he saw the royal seal was when he was using it to balance the royal books. In the middle of this, he left for a few minutes to fill the royal bathtub, and when he returned, the royal seal was missing! While they search the castle, a guard reports that two tanks and a car full of F.B.I. men have arrived. Suddenly, King Orlando has a great idea. Whittling a bar of bath soap into the shape of a fish, then he waves it about the royal bathtub. Sure enough, a wacky-looking seal leaps out of the tub and onto their table, gobbling down the soap fish! Then King Orlando demonstrates how his flippered friend can balance the books – with the tip of his nose! As they leave, Wheezer asks the Merry Mailman how he plans to explain the situation to the men from Washington D. C. The Merry Mailman replies, "Confidentially, I’m not! No sense putting ideas in their heads – there’s enough confusion down there as it is!"
  
  
• "Hey, Kids! Send For The New Howdy Doody Color Television Set", an ad for a toy that’s "complete with 8 rolls of color film" for "only $1", available through mail-order from the "Josely Company".
  
  
• "I Will Train You At Home In Spare Time To Be A Radio-Television Technician", a black-and-white, inside-back-cover ad for mail-order instructional courses from the "National Radio Institute".
  
  
• "I’ll Give You A Wrist Watch, Archery Set, Flash Camera Or Any Of 70 Big Prizes Without A Cent Of Cost…Mail Coupon For Free Prize Book", a back-cover ad soliciting for young door-to-door salespeople selling "American Seeds" for "Uncle" Harry Bard of "The American Seed Company".

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